Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 2 months ago

Is it wrong that I feel like this?

I feel like wanting to go back in time and not having my baby. I’m 16 and I’m not with the father. I regret even messing with him. I went through my whole pregnancy alone. She’s a month old now. I’m beyond grateful for my baby and I’m happy she’s here but If i could go back I just wouldn’t have had her this early especially with her father. Is it bad that I feel like this? 

6 Answers

  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    That sounds like a completely logical and understandable feeling that a 16-year-old, unmarried girl would feel after she's had a baby out of wedlock, ESPECIALLY when the father is no longer in the picture.. 

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Nope, I think it's pretty understandable. Even much older moms who really wanted kids feel this way sometimes. Some feel this way *often*, and take a bit longer to adjust to the demands of motherhood (it took me a while, and I was twice your age when I had my first!). You may feel like you're the only one to feel this way and therefore there must be something wrong with you, but the adjustment to motherhood is a HUGE one, even when you're older and established and ready for kids. Not even being a mature adult yet while having all the responsibilities of one is a lot to deal with. I think anyone would be feeling pretty overwhelmed right about now.

  • MissA
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No.  It's practical.  Parenting is rough, especially at your age, and you can love your children and be a good parent and still think that given the benefit of 20:20 hindsight you'd have worn a condom or had an abortion.

    If you want to be a good parent, though, you REALLY need not to let her know about this.  Really ever.  Carry that one to your grave.

    And TBH it'll probably fade.  She's only a month old and it's all new and weird and difficult.  When she's five or ten or thirty you won't be able to imagine a life that didn't have her in it.

  • 2 months ago

    It is neither right nor wrong. It is honest and normal. It is how most teenagers feel when the realize how hard it is to be a mom, let alone a single one.

    I encourage you to speak to other people about how you feel, rather than hold it inside.  You can talk to your child's pediatrician and or your ob/gyn or a counselor.  

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  • 2 months ago

    You have very normal feelings. While you don't regret your daughter at all it sounds like, you wish the timing had been better - nothing wrong with that as long as you don't lay blame on her or make her feel like a mistake.

    If you truly feel unprepared to parent, adoption is still an option. It sounds, though, that you do want to be her mom, you just feel a little overwhelmed and that is entirely normal even for someone twice your age.

    Our oldest daughter gave birth to her daughter when she was 17 years old. Her daughter is now 17 years old, and they are very close and love each other very much. Has it been easy? No. Has it been worth it? A hundred thousand million times yes.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Absolutely not bad. 16 is extremely young to become a mother and can cause all sorts of feelings. I’m sure if the father was there it might be easier on you. Don’t feel bad. :) Maybe talk to a therapist. It would probably help. :)

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