Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

Should I not mention the trip unless he brings it up???

My baby's dad lives out of state and has never met his son before. We recently started talking again and he mentioned before that my son and I fly up to see him for a few days. We planned on coming up this month but I ended up telling him that I want to make it for September instead because I heard Covid cases have been increasing in the state he lives in. He also told me about how he's joining the Navy and how he needs me to send my sons SS card so he can give it to his recruiter. When I told him that I wasn't coming up there this month, he didn't seem disappointed at all. He told me he still needed the SS card though and I told him I'll send it to him this week. 

Today I sent him a picture of the receipt and I told him that he'll get it by tomorrow and that I want him to send it back ASAP. All he wrote back was "awesome thanks"

I can tell that he doesn't have feelings for me and that we're just talking still because we have a kid together... I was kind of hoping that we could fly up there though so that my son can meet his dad. But I don't want to ask him about it if he doesn't care whether or not we come visit him or not..

So after he sends it back to me, should I just not talk to him and not mention visiting him unless he brings it up? I don't want him to feel like he HAS to. I want him to WANT us to come up there to see him.

2 Answers

  • 6 months ago

    Stop.  Read the many answer to your previous questions. Why are you even talking to him?

    Don't be so gullible.  He does NOT need your son's SS card.  He needs the SS# which you can provide over the phone.  Keep the card in a safety deposit box or safe in your home.  The recruiter doesn't need that info either, by the way.  The recruiter isn't the person who sets up benefits, so the guy only needs that information if he is going to assign benefits to his son and, again, he only needs the number off of the card, not the card itself. You now are going to need to put a credit watch on your 1-year-old son's SS#, because it is possible the baby daddy will use that SS # for other purposes that could be very damaging.  You don't know this guy at all and you have no reason to take anything he says at face value. If you want him to want to see you, then just tell him you aren't visiting him and that he can come see you if he wants to make those arrangements.  That's it. He probably won't, but you never know.  I think you need to start figuring out how raise your son without his father. 

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    see previous answers!

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