What do I do when my father verbally abuses me and humiliates me?

Question

I am an adult but have a mother and siblings so if I stop talking to him then I will never see him again. Obviously I live on my own and I see him about once every month or two. 

Update:

He is a control freak so likes to control like if I were still five years old. 

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

I would detach where his words mean no more then a strangers would. When visiting say hi and nothing further unless spoken to and if spoken to answer but without any further interaction or comment. 

Answer 2

I put up with the exact same thing most of my adult life because I still wanted a relationship with my mother, who was a wonderful person. 

She died two years ago. I hardly see or talk to my dad now.

I miss my mother, and I would just love to see her again, but I'm very happy for her that she no longer has to live with my dad and I feel liberated from being chained to having to put up with his abuse. 

You'll have to choose. My siblings had far less contact with my parents for the same reason, our dad is just too awful, but they missed so much time with our mother. I'm glad I made the choice I did as it was right for me. I don't know how my siblings feel about their choice. 

I hope you can find a way to make the choice that is right for YOU.

Answer 3

What do you want to do? Do that. Your mum and sister can come.see you at your place and not tell him about it.

Answer 4

If you live on your own, you have a choice to make and I suggest that you make it clear to him that if he continue to verbally abuse and humiliate you, when you will have no choice by to terminate your relationship.  If you were married to someone like this would you put up with it, and if the answer is no you know what you should do.

Answer 5

I don't think it's obvious that you live on your own.

I haven't seen/spoken to my toxic mother for 12 years.

Why do you see him, ever?

Answer 6

Walk away when he is abusive. If he doesn't get the message just visit with your mother and siblings. You need to surround yourself with positive and supportive people.

Answer 7

Tell him he's a pathetic little man. Then ignore him.

Answer 8

Reward good behavior and ignore negative behavior.  When he is positive and kind to you, interact with him in a way that he will enjoy.  When he's not, ignore him and walk away.