Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 6 months ago

My wife thinks shes better than me after her weight loss. Shes embarrassed of me now ?

We got married 4 years ago. We both have always bonded over food. She loved to cook and she would always make the most delicious meals. We were overweight. She was 230lbs and I'm 275lbs. I'm 6'1 and she's 5'5. In 2018, she started working on herself and her body. I was always so proud of her and supported her through her weight loss. Shes now 110lbs and shes embarrassed of me. Yes i lost some weight too,I'm now 230lbs which is not bad considering im 6'1 yet she still says im fat. My hair is receding more and more every year so I dont have much head hair, she complains about that. I recently got into an accident which caused my 2 front teeth to chip and shes extremely embarrassed of me for good. Shes much more gorgeous and she looks way better than she did before. Some people say that shes out of my league and than question her why shes with me. I feel like I lost my wife to a whole new person and I dont feel her love me anymore. It's not my fault my head hair is gone and my teeth got chipped. I cant afford to go to the dentist. Looks are her priority now and she feels like she cant be seen with me. She loves on me in private but as soon as we are out, she runs from me and acts like I'm just a friend. I feel very heartbroken and I dont know what to do. What should I do to make myself better for her?

27 Answers

  • 6 months ago

    dude... go to a dentist..... you say you cant afford it, stop it yes you can.  This happens allot when one of the mates starts to better themselves.  You will need to get in on this train.  Start thinking about your looks more man.  Looks aren't everything but you must not care at all (bad thing).  You have chipped teeth and cant find some cash to fix them???  Its literally one of the first things you see when looking at someone

  • 6 months ago

    I think first it better to talk to her about this than making an assumption on how she feels about the whole situation. There are cases when people in relationships glow up they tend to think of themselves as better and thus think that they are settling with their current partner. 

    I think if you two are close as you say you are then there is nothing to be worried about, but she might also not realize that she's is embarrassed of you and admit it. 

    I think it best to tell her first and then decide afterwards what to do depending on her response and behaviour. 

    My advice if the response are negative "get out" there is nothing in that relationship for you. It's better than wasting your time to change for her or trying to fix a broken relationship. 

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Use bug spray with a window open to get rid of the bugs in your hair and spray and walk directly into it like it's perfume. Then go to the dentist and get your teeth fixed up and work on losing weight yourself and gaining some muscles back and getting back into krav maga or kickboxing or tae kwon dou or something to get in shape and dance classes maybe? I am not sure of your age. 

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    You, the man, do NOT and SHOULD not try to make yourself better for anyone but YOU. Divorce the leech immediately, she will probably try to rob you blind, take the house, or even worse, get you fired from your job and jailed with rape accusations because you're a "fugly incel rapist." Women who suddenly start abusing "ugly" partners are a step away from being serial killers, and you don't want to be the first dead victim.

    Other posters have good advice for the dentist and balding, as well as weight-loss ideas, but here's the thing: YOU have to want to make those changes, feminists scream that they have the power, but they can't force you to change without killing you, and that's not an outcome anyone sane wants. Decide if you want to change like your hopefully-soon-to-be-ex wife has, or get rid of the abusive baggage and start fresh.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 6 months ago

    That's because you've stopped working on yourself. You've got to own it, and blame no one but yourself. 

    Your hair is receding? Go to the dermatologist doctor and get some medications. Some medications (such as finasteride, minoxidil) will stopped your hair from receding further. Some of it may even grow. Allot of patients have noticed that their hair has gone thicker after the treatment. It didn't work? Get a hair transplant, if it's too expensive for you. Go to Turkey and get a hair transplant for as low as 3000 dollars. And the results are great. I'm a doctor i know what i'm talking about. 

    Your fat? Go and lose some weight, join a gym, build some muscles. You can't afford a gym? Then go buy some dumbbells . Go walk/jog at your local park. Eat healthy food and keep your carbs/sugars low. No excuses dude.. 

    Your teeth are chipped? Go to the dentist. He'll put a filling to replace those teeth. You'll look great

    You don't have enough money to do these things? Then go fooking find a decent job. Work hard at it, even work 2 jobs if you have to. 

    Don't give yourself excuses. She has worked hard to improve herself (whether it's for you or for her). And she expects you to do the same. 

  • 6 months ago

    I am not going to tell you to go to the dentist or the gym, it is obvious you need a psychiatrist more.  Your sensitive soul has mistaken your wife's encouragement to get in better shape as a series of insults.  You now only focus on the negatives of your relationship instead of the positives.  You have text book insecurity and esteem issues that will destroy your marriage if you ignore them Good Luck!

  • David
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    "Some people say that shes out of my league and than question her why shes with me. "

    OK, you two are causing much of your own problems.  Nobody would be rude enough to comment that a wife is out of the husband's league.  If they ARE that rude, they would never say that to the wife or the husband.  If they truly are insensitive enough to be that crude to say something like that TO YOUR FACE...

    Then why are you two socializing with people like that?   A lack of empathy that large means the people are only a half-step removed from serial killers who get sexual satisfaction from watching people suffer...

    But then you ask...

    "What should I do to make myself better for her?"

    NOT A G-D THING!!!!     Women don't respect such behavior, it DISGUSTS them.  The only way she will ever come back to you is if you truly don't care if she comes back or not.  If you are happy with yourself (with or without her) she will be both attracted to you and proud of you.  If you try to change yourself to be "better" for her, that is weakness.  Weakness in men causes panties to dry up quick.  You are falling for the trap of trying to do everything right.  It's like the Chinese finger puzzle.  When you stop trying to chase your wife is exactly when she will start chasing you.

    If you don't take my advice...if you try to better yourself for your wife, to try to attract your wife...

    She's going to divorce you.   In fact, she won't just divorce you.  She will make it a very ugly divorce, and even then she won't be satisfied.  Even after divorced, she will do everything in her power to make sure you know how worthless you are and that you should feel like sh_t because you didn't live up to HER standards.

    She will do all this because she is disgusted by your weakness, trying to please her.  But eventually (it will probably be a few years after the divorce) she will have an awakening of sorts.  Right now, she is too disgusted by you to see the truth that she's turning into a monster.  But someday, she will look back on her life and realize that the man she is desperately looking for is the MAN SHE DIVORCED.

    Of course, by then you will have moved on and probably married someone 15 years younger than her...

    So don't worry dude, it all works out in the end.  You can't change yourself to please her, and it is foolish to try.  The more you try, the faster you will drive her away.

  • 6 months ago

    Hi there , i think your wife is at fault. Marriage is not only about appearance. if she is embarrassed because of you than this is wrong. it's possible that now her appearance has changed and so such behaviour. Now what you can do is either Talk to her and explain your issue and what you want, or else try reducing your weight and appearance a little or you should think of ending this relationship because you need mutual respect and care to live together. i hope this helps. All the best.

  • 6 months ago

    put some pictures of the fat her on the fridge and remind her of what a cow she looked like at 230 and only 5'5..if that dont work u could always tell her I am hunting married men and got u targeted in on my radar.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I'd throw her and her sh!t out the front door. Maybe you can remind her of how she lied when she said her marriage vows as you kick her in the as$ on the way out!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.