Michele asked in Social SciencePsychology · 6 months ago

Emotional Obsession ?

I have mental loop and not sure how to cope with it. This has happened twice now.

So I just had a breakup and when that happened I was totally apathetic, because of the reasons provided for it, I found them totally far fetched and unreal.

For some weeks she reached out to me and I always answered in a friendly but detached manner, I hated her a bit but I was totally ok, not thinking about at all.

The problem arises when I actually see her starting a relationship with some other dude and now I can't stop thinking about that.

The feeling of being replaced by some guy who might enjoy herself more than me is absolutely sickening and obsessive and while some days ago I could care less, up to now I just had totally random rants her way just to vent.

And it hurts me to even acknowledge that I am this way, but that feeling of being put aside and maybe thrown into the failed exes pile is so awkward and ruins my days because I can barely think about something else and enjoy the things I used to do. My hobbies and everything , things that I was actually fighting for, to have time to, when I was in the relationship.

I really don't know to react when this happens, to have those emotional hook that I feel bad only when I actually get replaced. And also the fact that I never have a backup, I don't like being that guy, to have someone ready to redirect my focus to them.

I usually am pretty lonely and don't mind it too much, but when this happens it's overwhelming for my mind.

Update:

I have to also add that both times, while overthinking everything, I do also understand that I wasn't really happy in the long run in those relationships. Both persons we're really weird, straight up rude and selfish in many occasions. But my mind is still obsessed with things like how I could have done things differently or how to actually have her back (only to discover of course that I still feel bad in the relationship), or straight up how to be vindictive and make her feel bad as well.

2 Answers

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  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You're still tangled up in her drama because you have not completely released her form your Life.  You know all about the drama she causes but you hate being REPLACED!  Let her replace you. Go ahead, and allow it too happen!   One year from now that person will also be gone from her life.  She will marry and then a few years late she will be divorced.  "A leopard doesn't change it spots."  She is what she is, and she is who she is.  Leave the rest to fate, and someday in some way you will hear all about what happened to her.  

  • 6 months ago

    It seems you do not like being alone.

    I would recommend therapy.

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