How do I cope with being attracted to so many friends?

I’m gay and I have a lot of guy friends. As it turns out, I’m attracted to a lot of them. I’ve even flirted with one of them by accident. They are my good friends and I don’t want anything awkward between us. I don’t know what to do. I just wish I wasn’t attracted to them in the first place. 

4 Answers

  • Sky
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Assuming your anonymously posted story is true, the next question is whether any of those friends are also gay or bi.  If any of them are then it's entirely possible you could have a lot of compatibility with one of them as a couple (or more than one if you're into polyamory).  For those friends who are straight, and I take it you're out with all your friends so they all know you're gay, just tell them that if you accidentally flirt with any of them that they shouldn't take it seriously because you know they're not interested and you don't want to make them uncomfortable, and that they should let you know if you are being uncomfortably flirty.  (Note:  it's not impossible that even a straight friend might be curious and interested to try something sexual, so if one indicates he'd be interested in that then talk about it.)

    Another big way to cope with being attracted to your friends is to simply get a boyfriend.  If you're already in a committed relationship then you'll know your friends are off limits and will be less likely to be flirty.   But even if you are flirty, assuming your boyfriend isn't the jealous type and doesn't mind you casually flirting with friends, there's nothing wrong with that.  Just the same as if you're single, you don't want to push it into uncomfortable territory with friends.

    Whether you're in a relationship or not, you can't just shut off your attraction like a light switch.  If you have attractive friends then you're going to feel attracted to them whether you like it or not.  It's no different than a straight guy who has female friends:  if attraction is there then it's there and it's just a matter of whether or not he acts on that attraction.  For you, it's a matter of whether or not you act on your attraction for those friends.  You have to know where you place the limits on how much you flirt and who you pursue romantically and/or sexually.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Go ahead and have sex with them.

    Man-to-man love is beautiful.  

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Distract your attention through your interests or hobbies.You could focus more on friendships where you don't find them attractive.Some people deliberately pick friends that they know they won't find attractive. Keep your lustful feelings in check ie controlling your own actions. Find a boyfriend who can love you. 

  • 2 months ago

    Your choices are simple: Either continue to flirt and show your attraction and run the risk of ending the friendships, or deal with it, find someone to be with and save your friendships.

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