Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My husband is literally trying to force me to get pregnant and have a child. PLEASE HELP?

We were married for 2 years and yes I do want kids. But we agreed that we wouldn't have them for a while when we were dating. We got married very soon after dating for 8 months. 

I'm 24 and hes 25. For the past 6 months, hes been trying to force a kid on me. We have been arguing and he keeps telling me that 2 years is too long to not have a child. He took away my birth control and throws them out. He won't let me go to the doctor and he keeps trying to force unprotected sex on me. I had a pregnancy scare twice and I was devastated and I was thinking of abortion until I found I'm not pregnant. He doesnt let me get birth control and he keeps trying to push for unprotected sex. We go days without having sex because I'm scared he might get me pregnant. I let him do it at least 2 or 3 times a month and he gets extremely angry and keeps telling me that there's nothing coming from me and that I'm helpless. He keeps talking about how his sisters all have more than 3 kids and how I'm weird for not wanting them right now. I'm just not ready to be a mom. I cant handle that responsibility right now. The baby will be in my care because hes not the one who's going to wake up and breast feed or constantly stress. I'm not ready for that yet. I've lived in a house filled with kids. I have 9 siblings and I've taken care of them and I'm sick of kids and i just want to wait for a bit longer until I feel ready. I told him that but he doesnt get it and he still goes unprotected during sex. 

Update:

I'm surprised I haven't gotten pregnant. But considering that I dont let him do it for days straight, that could be why I'm not getting pregnant. I'm just not ready and he still pushes it. Sometimes I think about packing my bags and leaving but I end up not doing it because I feel bad for him. He probably wants a family of his own but I'm just not ready.

29 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Leave divorce if your not ready your not ready

  • 1 month ago

    Tell him... IF YOU GET PREGNANT THAT YOU ARE FILING FOR DIVORCE and CHILD SUPPORT, and ALIMONY and moving a couple states away.. TELL HIM YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE HIS BABY...

  • car253
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This man is very controlling get out now.  This is just the start.   You don't want to be divorcing and three kids later.    You may be sick of kids having 9 siblings.   But your own kids are different.   You will feel differently with your own kids.    But it is your choice not to have kids.  And, your husband refuses to respect that.   So, leave now before you get pregnant and are stuck in a divorce.

  • 1 month ago

    Leave this marriage. It isn’t what’s best for you and clearly he is only looking out for his wants.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The problem here isn't so much a child but that you married in insanely controlling person. Throwing out your birth control is an act of overt hostility. "Won't let me" isn't something anyone should ever have to say about a spouse. I'm usually for marriage counseling and trying to repair any relationship that doesn't involve violence. But in this case your husband would need years of individual therapy just to become a decent person before marriage counseling could even work. Sadly, I don't think this can be fixed. Just make sure you get out before you end up pregnant. Bringing a child into this mess would be a disaster. 

  • Evi
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Get the contraceptive injection, depo provera. He can't take that away from you. Also he needs to respect that you don't want kids just yet. He sounds very controlling.  

  • 2 months ago

    1 - get a contraceptive implant or coil

    2 - get a divorce

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This is abuse and attempted rape.  You need to get out of there.  Contact a hotline for domestic violence victims to find out where you can go for help.  Then get a lawyer, get a restraining order, and file for divorce.  

    If he treats you this way, think of how he'll treat any children.  If you won't escape for yourself, do so for them.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I think you should never have gotten married.

    It's either yes, or no regarding having kids. It's not yes, and no. I don't think he should have married you.

    I am a male, and I am older than you. I think your attitude is not good. You obviously are confused about what you want.

    If I had a girlfriend before I would marry her I would expect an answer about having kids. I would not except a response like yours.

    If it's yes then all of her clothes would be coming off, and mine too, and we would be f**king without any protection.

    It's understandable what he wants, but he can't get you knocked up if you don't want to f**k enough.

    You said you want kids, but you don't like kids, and you are not ready to have kids. What you said is complete gibberish to me.

    "yes I do want kids."

    " I'm sick of kids "

    "i just want to wait for a bit longer until I feel ready"

    "I'm just not ready"

    I think you should reread what you said, and think about it very carefully.

    If you were my wife, and you said yes to me, and you behaved like that with me. The birth control pills won't be the only thing that I would be tossed out. Your clothes would be tossed out too, and I would expect you to be prepared to f**k, and make a baby, or babies with me.

    Your husband seems like a nice guy. He didn't toss out your clothes. I would have tossed out your birth control, and clothes if you were my wife. In addition I would expect you to perform.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You "don't let him do it for days straight" is NOT the comment of an adult, married female.  Do "it?"

    Yes, leave.  He is abusive.

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