Nathan asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

Giving up on a depressed girl?

So a friend of mine/crush has some mental health issues around depression and attachment disorders. She is a truly great girl, but pushes me away whenever we get close. It's exhausting and i i'm thinking of just pulling away. I wanted to see if there were any people who go through similar issues as her and how someone giving up on you made you feel

Update:

Just wanna thank everyone for their help and wish you well in your struggles too. Unfortunately,  i can't chat with you all one on one which i would love

9 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

     I think this largely depends on your girlfriend's attitude towards receiving help. And I speak as someone who has suffered from severe Major Depressive ...

  • 1 month ago

    A person who is struggling with depression has little to nothing to give to someone emotionally.  Therefore, they need to work on their issues before they would make a decent relationship partner at all.  but of course, you've discovered this already

  • 1 month ago

    If she's hot, you're an idiot.

    Hot girls with mental illness are the holy grail.

  • 1 month ago

    I have worked in the mental health field all of my life and I have a solid creed that I follow:

    I will go to hell and back to continually support you as long as I can verify that you are HELPING YOURSELF AND WORKING WITH YOUR DOCTOR TO GET BETTER!

    Otherwise, I can't help because nothing takes the place of you helping yourself and continually depending on others to solve your problems is disrespectful to them and wasteful of their time and resources.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    PPL with depression often project negative outcomes....could be just about anything like abandonment, getting stood up or embarassed infront of ppl, .etc/. If you really dig this chick, back off a little and give her some time. But remember....this may get better.....but probably will be right back to the negativity....so consider that too

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    My friend has depression, she works,  takes meds and has seen a therapist.

    But..she is at times really abrupt, cold and not capable of being a friend due to it, she has zero interest in making an effort in conversation and does not care.

    She cannot care.

    So..

    I am giving her space.

    I’ve not not heard from her in 2 months, my last text was wishing her a good day at work.

    I have tried and tried, sent texts, and all she does is act cold and disinterested and text back one word replies.

    I am leaving it to her to text me as I make 99% the effort and she clearly wants to be left alone.

    I am tired of trying and getting no where.

    Leave your friend alone, she needs help and I really hope she gets it, but you trying and getting nowhere is not good for either of you.

    Let her contact you, yes, pull away for a while, do not let her treat you badly, be rude to you, or bully you.  She needs to get help.

    That is not ok.

  • 1 month ago

    You stated that she's a great girl. That she has attachment issues. Do a little research on Google to get info about what going on with her. Knowing some stuff might make it a little easier for you to deal with. Something has had to happen in her life that has caused her to be like this. She feels that your anxietious when your with her. So her fears probably get a little overbearing and confusing. Patience patience patience. Let her trust you. Let her know your coming back. Dont be late. Follow through with what u say. If you are going to be late even 15 minutes let her know your still coming. 

  • 1 month ago

    I have depression and suicidal thoughts. For me, I expect people to abandon me because I'm use to it. My family abandoned me, friends and everyone I've ever known. 

    Maybe offer if you can take her to get help. If you cant handle it, don't suffer and move on.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I haven’t gone through this, but don’t give up on her. Those who often have depression can not express their feelings and push people away when they need the most help. You can give her space but chat with her now and then just to check up on her, obviously at this point you can’t be in a relationship because she isn’t ready for it. 

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