Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 2 months ago

What to do here.?

What is a good way to act around cliquey people, if you have to be around them, say at work, with friends of friends or even family?

Who do not really talk to you.. rather they chat to themselves and talk around you, like you do not exist.

Despite you being polite and nice.

 

This can happen in any group or life situation

3 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Just avoid people like that. 

  • 2 months ago

    Be directly polite and acknowledge them and then quickly MOVE ON.

    You don't want to have a relationship with someone who excludes and ignores you and so move away from them as quickly as possible.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    If polite and nice isn't working, then change your game. Be brazenly sarcastic and b-tchy. Cliquey people are bitchy people. They respect b-tchy. You just have to know when to pull back, like when they finally react instead of ignore you, just flash them a big smile and then flatly say, "Yeah, I knew it. You like me." Then turn around and walk away kind of like you're being a ***** again. But when you get something like 10 steps away turn back and flash them a shiteating grin. They'll probably call you weird or freak or something, and you answer back, "Damn straight I am! Takes one to know one!"

    That's how you break down walls. It's not by being nice. It's by forcing people to engage with you, even if it's in a seemingly mean way. There's this thing called "reaction formation." It's where you get someone you like but who doesn't seem to like you to like you by acting like you don't like them. You create a report where it seems like you're not friends but in so doing, you actually become friends by behaving towards each other seemingly mean but at the same time gathering respect so that pretty soon even though that's how you're acting towards each other, you're acting towards each other the opposite of how you really feel, by being ironic. That's how you win someone over when nice doesn't work, by being not nice, getting them to engage, getting them to respect, and then at some point you acknowledge that you actually like each other with a breakthrough, like by saying something like, "I'm seeing this band and have this extra ticket. Wanna go?" 

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