What’s a good timeline for invites and RSVP for a destination wedding?

Like many other couples, we had to cancel our original wedding plans for this year. We are now doing a very pared down version out of state at a location that is meaningful for us. It’s within driving distance (about 3-4 hrs) for all of our guests. Because things are are so weird right now, it’s been a bit more difficult to find a dinner location...all the different rules, people are feeling nervous etc. The amount of people we will have will affect where we hold the dinner following the outdoor ceremony. So we kind of need to know an idea of how many people are at least pretty sure they will make it. It’s in December so we’ve already given people a heads up and will send out actual invitations soon. How far in advance is reasonable to ask for RSVPs?

Update:

We realize some people may not want to come and won’t be mad if they choose not to. Some people like destination weddings and some don’t. We have attended a couple and were happy to do so. Not asking for opinions on out of state weddings. We’re doing what makes us happy. Just asking for advice on a reasonable timeline. Thanks. 

6 Answers

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    3 months ago

    I would send the invitation now and ask for RSVPs within 30 days.

  • Edna
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    You want to have an outdoor wedding in December?  Go ahead, if you want to freeze your butt off.

     Half the people you invite to a destination wedding will be unable to give you a definite yes or no on an RSVP until maybe a month before the wedding. Before then, all they could tell you would be "maybe". They won't know until  much closer to the wedding what their circumstances are going to be. They might not be able to afford to travel to a destination wedding, or they might not be able to take time off from work, or their kid might get sick. Who knows?? Don't count on a lot of people attending your wedding. 

    Also, many of the people you want to invite won't like the idea that they will have to drive 3 or 4 hours in order to attend a wedding. A 3- or 4-hour drive one way will probably mean they're going to have to spend the night in a hotel  after the wedding and reception are over, and they might not be able to afford it.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Given how the rules are constantly changing you probably can't expect an accurate tally until mere weeks before the event. If you're getting married outside you're in a place with reasonable winter weather. So maybe pick a dinner place with ample outdoor seating so the specific number of guests can be changed at the last minute if necessary. 

  • 4 months ago

    Don't count on a lot of people going...

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  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    cool that you rescheduled, but you made another mistake: an out of state wedding. no one likes those and they're very inconvenient. good luck having all of your guests show up. and it's STILL risky in december. post pone it until december 2021 instead. i don't see the big rush...

    shut up

  • drip
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    When do you need them by? If you are holding off on where to hold the dinner until you get rsvp I really don’t think that will work.

    Many guests won’t want to give a firm answer until much closer to the event. 

    If you have a small guest list now, I would be talking to guest individually on the phone.  Get a feeling on how they feel about traveling and being around people in this pandemic. Be sure to ask your dinner venue about having a smaller guest count last minute.

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