Am I demisexual? ?
Okay so I’m a little bit confused because, whenever I date someone I can find them good looking,fit, attractive etc, but I never really feel sexuality attracted to someone like I’d want to sleep with them straight away. Not that I haven’t hooked up before, but it just doesn’t feel right for me. I’d prefer it if I have got a strong emotional bond or connection with someone before hand, like really now them at the core. I don’t like jumping into relationships straight away either, I prefer to go on a few dates and really get to know someone. I’m feeling a little stumped, because I know most people are into causal hookups no commitment or wanting to get serious straight away. I do want to be in a committed relationship but I don’t want to rush and get into one to quickly, I also don’t want to just shag around for the sake of it either. So that’s why I’m wondering if I’m demisexual or maybe something different all together.
Btw I’m a lesbian also so it’s fair difficult finding someone as it is lool. Any advice and insight would be helpful.
- Anonymous1 month ago
This is not a sexual orientation, it's a personality.
- CraigLv 51 month ago
I'd consider your attitude regarding sex in relationships to be "normal", and I'd call it that. Why is there a need for another word like "demisexual" to describe a normal, healthy reaction to protect and conserve intimacy? I'd suggest you call it "normal", too.
When you think about it, it's the people who lack any impulse that serves to protect them from intimate exposure to the wrong people, the wrong activities, and the wrong biological environment...it's THOSE people who have a need to invent a word like "demisexual". When they encounter someone who is not interested (like they are) in immediately pursuing anything that promises to engorge their private parts, they are flummoxed. They can't imagine normal social and sexual behaviour coming naturally to a person. They believe it's either the result of brainwashing, or perhaps of some freaky accident of Nature that results in hormonal deficiency. So they invent a word to categorize it NOT as the way that normal humans habitually work, but as if it is a deviation from the norm, requiring a special label.
For whatever reason, homo sapiens sapiens tend not to have sex on the first date. They CAN. It DOES happen. And it probably happens to almost everybody at some point...but that's not our tendency. Our tendency is to experience a special joy from the interweaving of physical sensation and emotional interpretation thereof. We therefore tend to wait, and sniff around our potential mates, to see whether we can expect that emotional component to develop. These days popular culture and advertising encourage us to believe that the physical act itself is the alpha and omega of our existence...so many people act as if that's the case. And many of them greatly enjoy the sensation, and get caught up in an inward-turned emotional self-congratulation, in place of the normal, shared emotional interpretation of sex. They imagine themselves to portray the images they've seen in entertainment media, and consider that to be the norm.
But it isn't. Everything you've described about yourself is the norm. So, NO you're not "demisexual". You're "normal".
- Anonymous1 month ago
Probably. Demisexual describes people that need to form an emotional bond with people before they feel sexual attraction.
- 1 month ago
You very well could be. Although these things can often be rather fluid, and grey, and situational. However, I see no harm in you identifying as such, (whether it be for the time being, or forever), if you feel like it's a label that describes you, and helps you understand yourself. And that you can also tell others about, in order to help them better understand YOU. :)Source(s): Panromantic grey asexual person here. Who's not at all opposed to people using labels that describe them. BUT..? Who also does not believe in using them prescriptively, and trying to force oneself to fit them. Only descriptively, to describe what's already there! And then if one day, the label no longer fits..? It can be dropped, or changed and adjusted. (I've had to do that on multiple occasions myself as well.) :)