Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 month ago

The whole idea of men being stoic, reserved etc is a lie - How can I make people understand this?

My nephew is 31 (I am his aunt) and he only has 2 friends and is single. He says he gets along well with people at work but doesn't hang out with them outside of work.

He never goes to parties and will never start a random conversation with a person he sees on the street or on the bus. When I ask him personal questions it is always one word answers.

I think he is either depressed or has a mental disorder (like autism) he insists he is fine the way he is but I think he needs help to be more confident, everyone else is extroverted and to be that shy and quiet is a sign that something is wrong, I have asked him many times about his feelings and he gets irritated at me(is this also a sign something is wrong)

For Charles Darwin shyness was an 'odd state of mind' appearing to offer no benefit to our species, and since the 1970s the modern tendency in psychology sees shyness as pathology

My sons are 28 and 33, they love going out, talking, chatting, gossiping and have at least 2 or 3 SEPARATE GROUPS of friends.

I have told him many times that he is lonely and he says he isn't. I even tried to get his parents involved and told them to make him open up about his feelings but they said he is an adult and can live how he pleases and that he talks to them all the time, they even have Sunday dinners together every week. But I say they need to do more, they need to be more involved in his life.

Should I get him to see a therapist or just try and make him more talkative myself? 

2 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You can ask him to see a therapist. You can even offer to help him find one. But he's an adult and not even your adult child. So it's not like you can force the issue. 

  • 1 month ago

    No, in contrast, people that are indifferent are usually more intelligent and see things differently than other people. They aren't easily rattled by the static of people around them or what people should do or be concerned with. If he starts pulling wings off of butterflies, that might be cause for worry. 

    Most innovators of the world and self made people went through long periods of life not abiding by the status quo of "normal behavior" or what is deemed normal by the majority. 

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