Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

Why does it bother me so much when people have babies out of wedlock?

7 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is called marriage.

    That is the right thing to do.

  • John P
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is a good job that you don't live near me. A woman just along the road has 11 children by 11 different men.

  • 1 month ago

    Because we are not dogs where the male impregnates the female and then wanders off leaving her to raise the pups, we are human beings and the family is the backbone of society. 

  • Sound
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Perhaps because it was not based on love in the first place. I would argue you could even like the person, but not be in love.  For those saying marriage is the right thing to do in this case, I could see why. If someone kept having relations with another person and left their partner as soon as they found out she was pregnant, then responsbility is lost to an extent (or vice versa). No commitment, just sex, and pleasure. It feels good, but it can also be a vicious cycle, as it's something that never really seems to go away, but just keeps coming back for more and more, so to speak. In other words, without marrige or some other form of long term commitment, relationships sort of become a trade in value, leaving for another partner whenever u desire or salvaging what's left, more likely to leave when things get hard, Then ask yourself, or whoever u may be talking to, do you really want a relationship or something else in the first place? Even if you commit without marriage, that essentially takes a form of marriage, or long term commitment. The way I see it, marriage is a form of commitment, but sure, we could argue there are other forms of commitment. If you dont want commitment, then what do you or what does that person really want? As I explained before, sex is a part of a relationship, but when it becomes the whole or main reason, deep down and unadmitely,  then you start to see others as object, with less regards to their feelings, and not only that, it's a pleasure that never fully or truly gets satisifed, so you'll end up bouncing from one relationship to another, when deep down, you prefer to be single, but are not so because of sex, which usually requires you then to work your way into a relationship and offer some form of commitment.

    So if you meant wedlock out of having babies the short answer is commitment and not being all over the place. It's like when you try to find that perfect one, you can't search everywhere and you'll be all over the place so to speak. You have set boundaries, confinement, and commited to certain qualities or things you wont tolerate. Sometimes you'll be wrong, and have a hard time accepting it, but overall, it'll still pay off to be committed to your values.

    Also, it's usually easier for 2 people to take care of the baby than 1, because of financial resources, time, love, and so forth. 

     I suppose that's why people some argue no sex before marriage, because by then, with marriage you've already commited yourself to a large extent and are somewhat more ready for a baby, given the fact, that you are in this together, simply speaking, and have more than likely planned out finacial responsibilites, recreational time, and even talked about having children. It isn't then just a relationship with little to no commitment and sex thrown in there as well. That's more of friends with benefits, and hence, just friends. Without truly acknowledging commitment then, outside of marriage or even long term commitment in general that may not invovle marriage, I believe people are just more likely to "use" others, or see others as objects, even if they are just friends. There is no playing the victim if someone knew deep down the relationship was not meant to be, but had sex anyways, with or without a baby on the way. In that case, I do strongly feel that both are obligated to take care of the child in this case through some form of long term commitment, since sex is usually consensual. 

    Although I think its possible to have sex before marriage and fall in love and take care of a baby, but long term commitment makes it less likely that you are with the person for the "wrong" reasons I'll say. Also I still have mixed feelings and am unsure about whether falling in love after having a baby is as a strong as being in love in the first place, but I'll leave that for another time.

    If by any chance meant having babies because you were already in marriage and your spouse wants one even though you don't, then my main argument here is that should have already been agreed upon before getting married or establishing a long term commitment. No going back on your word, with few exceptions. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Friend that's called righteous indignation God said you're not supposed to have sex outside of marriage so first we have the aspect that it goes against the laws of God next we have the aspect that most of the children that are had outside of wedlock go straight to welfare and the money comes out of you and mine pocket why are we the people of the United States paying for people to have children outside of wedlock the United States is struggling we're already ready to fall flat on our face why do the laws of the United States permit this terrible financial crime against the people of the United States. Sex outside of marriage which results in a child needs to be treated just like any other financial crime you're breaking the law and stealing from the people you need to be prosecuted as if you were a thief. If you have a child outside of marriage you have the option to get married and to support that child but if you deliberately abstain from getting married and run to the welfare office you're stealing from the people of the United States you should be prosecuted as a criminal for that. you knew before you had sex that sex results in children you plan to the crime you should be prosecuted and the person that made you pregnant should be prosecuted as a conspirator in the crime

  • y
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You must know the numbers or the quality of life that most of these kids, people. Will now follow. Worse grades, more abuse, more drug use, more arrest, repeating the cycle, the list of negative that the majority fall into is very long.

    Judging them as opposed to trying to help though, is just plain wrong. I believe that most of us that were not teen/young adult parents in these situations. Was due more to luck then anythign else. I know I was stupid and lucky at times.

  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Because you, like so many others, have not mastered the fine art of minding your own business. It's everywhere, watch the news for our many examples.

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