Please help me! I need to divorce my toxic husband.?

I have no idea where to start. I am in an extremely abusive marriage that I need to escape, I don’t know what to do first! We own a house together and have two children together. I have a full time job and he has the luxury of staying home and making a separate income, so he is able to stay home with the kids, while I work. Idk what to do first? What is the first step to divorce him, I have limited funds.. do I need a lawyer? How much money is that? Do I move out of the house first?. I don’t want to get in trouble for “child abandonment” what do I do? I’m so desperate and ready for change. 

11 Answers

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  • 5 months ago

    get a lawyer, they walk you through it and help you out. Around here, they are like $2,000

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    This is why widowhood is better than divorce. Shut up and start thinking. That you would even consider abandoning your child shows how Stupid you are. A mother never leaves her child. Your toxic husband is not immortal. Think.

  • 5 months ago

    there must be an explanation for you having a male name but describing yourself as a wife?  Everyone agrees that you need to consult an attorney, and so do i.  Also, feel free to call the national domestic violence hotline, 1 800 799 7233, 24/7, and chat with an advocate, its free.

    Lawyers don't come cheaply, but you really need one. Initial consults are sometimes free of charge. Don't move out, unless you and/or your children are in danger from your husband, then, all bets are off. Good luck and good wishes,

  • .
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Yes, Christopher, you should enlist the aid of an attorney. The cost will vary widely around the US. Many offer free consultations, get one. You first posted about this 4 months ago, and yet apparently haven't made calls to get the necessary info you need to move forward. You need to get legal advice so you know your rights in the state where you intend to file, and can decide how to proceed.

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  • 5 months ago

    You do need a lawyer.  Because the husband has been looking after the children then he is in a better position to gain custody of them and in some states have the house as well because the children need their home.  Because of this you need better advice than I could give.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    He should be the one to leave - especially if he is abusive. Is he caring for the children all day? If you work full time, what will happen to the children during the day if you separate? If he is abusive to you, is he also abusive to the children?

    You certainly need a lawyer. You also need to separate your finances, and if you separate he will have to pay towards the children at least. 

    Any abuse (you have said that he was controlling and had anger issues in the past) affects the children. Effectively you are both is telling your children that it is all right to be abusive if you take no action. 

    Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    See a lawyer, get advise from the lawyer.

  • 5 months ago

    DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME. It will put you in an incredibly bad position in the eyes of the judicial system and you will lose favor with the judges who will ultimately decide the division of property. 

    Reach out to your support network and let them know what's happening and that you are going to get a divorce. This is important. 

    Next, meet with a lawyer to discuss your story and find out what options are going to work best for you. Please remember that matter how embarrassing or unpleasant your situation is, your lawyer is not going to judge you for it. They will help you.

    Stay strong!

    Source(s): I work in family law
  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    first what u should do christopher is to discuss it with your husband. tell him the marriage isn't working and u want a divorce. and please do not consider dragging your kids into women's shelter

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Find a womens shelter so you and your children can be safe and they will help with the divorce, restraining order and supervised visitation if he is a danger to the children. If you feel in serious danger you might need to relocate so he cannot find you at your job or see you around your town, that means also finding a new job. You can plan it out or leave quickly, only you know how dangerous he is....if he doesn't let you take the kids out by yourself  you can still do all those steps and the shelter can help you file the proper court papers and the police or CPS will pick your kids up from him. Your not trapped and if you really want out you can get out, it will be hard and stressful but it will get better. 

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