Is having my 10 month old baby going 2 weeks at her fathers house and 2 weeks with me healthy ?

Hello I’m a first time mother and I ,and the baby’s father are not together ,we don’t really get along as he’s very manipulative and verbally abusive and a lot of times controlling towards me after I found out I was pregnant which was very late in pregnancy so I couldn’t abort it . He was very absent in her growth at the beginning and tried to make me believe I didn’t want him around her but I just knew he didn’t care. Fast forwarding to today he has said that he wants us to divide the time with her(our baby girl) as in , she would stay at his house for two weeks and at my house the other two weeks, she’s only 10 months old and she doesn’t understand what’s going on. I didn’t want to do it when he first suggested it , but I gave it go and it didn’t go well she was very stressed when she first got there for the week and she than settled the following week . I’m very concerned as he’s week is approaching and I am trying to do research to prove that this is not healthy for a baby her age to be moving up and down with no stability... please help me 

5 Answers

Relevance
  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    A 10-month-old baby living 2 weeks with you and 2 weeks with the father might work out, for the time being; but it sounds very tiring - for you, for the father, and for the baby. 

     But, this 2-weeks on, 2-weeks off business won't work, not after the kid is old enough to start school. A kid can't pack up and move from your house to the father's house every 2 weeks while school is in session. Maybe when your daughter is older, she could live with him during the summer. 

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You need to contact an attorney ASAP and work this out through the courts. If you don't feel safe around him, your child certainly won't be.

  • 1 month ago

    No, that's inappropriate for a child her age. No judge would agree to that, at this point, the best option for her is to have visitation for a couple hours a day a couple days a week. She's too little for that constant back and forth.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You need to go to court to have them decide what's appropriate if this is not working.  At 10 months old it is not feasible for her to be without you for two weeks.  Especially if you are still breastfeeding.  It is definitely not healthy during this time when there's a pandemic going on.  Also, he cannot just tell you what the custody arrangement should be, it has to be mutually agreed upon and the best way is always through the court system.  If you don't do this legally, he can just walk off with her because there's no custodial parent. 

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you aren't married, and there is no court order, the child is yours, there is no joint custody. Tell your sperm donor that if he wants to talk to you, he can do it through email or text. When he tries to abuse you that way, you will have proof in court.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.