Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Given a gift but now they want it back?

I was given a steel pan (instrument) from my aunt (we’re not blood related but she my sisters real aunt) and she gave it to me no mention of a loan or anything she gave it to me as gift. I went and took it to get fixed and tuned from a guy my old steel pan teacher uses to tune the pans at my old school and then I get an email stating that her daughter (who it originally belonged to) wants it back, (basically her mother (my aunt) bought the pan when her daughter when she was younger and it has been in the shed for nearly 20 years after the daughter stopped using it, and her daughter has now asked for it back after finding out (and apparently she's quite spiteful according to my sister (her cousin)). Now my aunt said she wants to keep it in the family and give it to her grandson. I am going to give it back but I’m a little upset as it was a gift and because it was so badly out of tune I never got to use it and only was able to get it tuned and fixed a few months prior to this coronavirus lockdown and it’s been with the tuner ever since and so I have to wait until the schools open to get in touch with the teacher to get it back. (first world problems lol) but is it normal to take back something that you give someone, especially when there was no mention of a loan I don’t know but anyways bit annoyed but what can you do?

already posted but didn't add all the details and the question was answered.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, of course this was wrong.  In fact, it's not hard to guess how her daughter turned out so spiteful.  A good mom would have said "Honey, it's been there for 20 years.  If you wanted it, you should have said something".  Even better "Honey, it's MY pan and I gifted it to someone else".

    One thing.  You never said anything about whether you need to pay the tuner.  If you don't, fine, but if you do, there's nothing wrong in telling your aunt you'd appreciate being refunded that. 

  • 1 month ago

    You really can't do much of anything... I mean, I guess you could refuse to give it back but why? You hit the nail on the head, this is about spite and some people are just like that. 

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