Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

Is humour a serious coping mechanism?

There's a group of girls who have been bullying me for a while. They've been spreading rumours and ****-shaming me to my school because my boyfriend is one of the girls' ex, and they keep blaming me for the breakup. They kept making fun of a person who passed away in my life, by saying I made him and his death up to get attention. When I told them that it was true that my childhood friend passed away, and that it hurt hearing such things, they just giggled and laughed, but later justified laughter as a coping mechanism for serious topics. Because of all their rumours, I've lost all but two friends. 

I finally had the courage to confront them with all the evidence of what they've been saying because they continuously denied it, however, their response was once again, that humour is how they cope with serious issues, as the girl is still heartbroken. They blamed everyone else for turning these jokes into rumours and that what they've been saying was completely harmless. 

Of course, I left it at that because I didn't want to cause a scene. I've tried talking to my school's guidance counsellors but they did absolutely nothing. This has been going on for about a year and a half. I want to seriously know if that kind of laughter is a valid mechanism for coping, because if this is valid, I don't want to make them feel bad by confronting them again about it. 

1 Answer

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Humor can be a coping mechanism. As in I might joke about something serious in my life with a supportive friend, to help me deal with the pain.

    But that isn't what's happening to you here.

    The pattern here is more:

    1) Person(s) make mean, outrageous, untrue statements.

    2) They get called on making these mean, outrageous, untrue statements.

    3) They cover by claiming they were just joking. And attack whoever called them out basically saying: Can't you take a joke!

    This is a common pattern for abusive people.  They test the limits of what they can get away with. Then claim it was a joke, if they get called out.

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