Roommate goes in my room while I'm at at work... How do I handle this?

So here's the deal.. I'm a 29 year old male. I rent a room in a house that is owned and also lived in by my roommate who is female in her late 40s or early 50's. It's not the ideal situation but the rent has been decent and it's close to my family and work route. I started to notice a few months ago that sometimes my door would be open or closed/not how I left it when I went to work. I thought nothing of it at first and figured I was just being paranoid. But then it kept happening. Sometimes I would leave my fan on while at work to circulate the air as I don't have a window. And I have come home to find the fan off. So I was just like... Ok it def seems like she's coming in here. So I decided to do my own version of the tennis ball trick just to see if my door was being opened while I was gone... And what do you know... It turns out she goes in there at least once a week. Even when all of my lights are off and the fan isn't running. 

I was just gone for 3 days for work and I came home exhausted to find that my door had been opened all the way, at one point and then was left closed which is not how I left it intentionally.

There's no contract in place. If she's worried about electricity... If you run a fan 24/7 for a month... Which I don't... It comes out to about 5 dollars a month on the electricity bill... And I pay 800 a month for just the room, rent, utilities and everything included...

How would you approach the situation/conversation??

21 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    I would leave my sybian out for her to "ride"

  • 4 weeks ago


    In my town,, a bedroom without a window is illegal to use as a bedroom.. You may be renting an illegal room.

    You have a right to privacy. I would purchase a keyed door knowb set. Remove the current door knob and bag all the hardware so you can reinstall it when you leave. Install the new lock set.

    Just do it.

    If she asks about it, simply state that your privacy is important to you and explain nothing more. accuse her of nothing because it could very well be a guest who enters your room. If you must, let her know you are not comfortable with anyone entering your rented space.

  • L
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    Sit down, with the owner, and discuss this with her.

  • 1 month ago

    You ask her not to enter your room without consent. 

    Failing that, you ask to get a lock on your door. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I would try to estimate how she will respond to your inquiries about her entering your room.  For example turning off unnecessary things like fans is a valid concern regardless if the monthly cost is $5 or $5k if you are paying the bill.  Thus I first suggest you try to cure the problem by using some foresight and stop giving her a reason to enter your room.  If you find it is still occurring I would address it as a privacy concern, not an accusation or assumption.  You need to be very tactful because if you tick her off she can easily give you written notice to vacate, and at the end of October you will be needing a new home.  Something tells me that where you live places to live for less than $800/month (with everything included) are difficult to find.  Good Luck.

  • East
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    She owns the house so she won't like being told not to go in your room. Unfortunately without a contract your rights are limited--just what is provided under state and local law, which probably doesn't govern when she can enter your room. I'd just ask her what makes her go in your room and see how you can address the concerns.  If she is worried about using too much electricity, just make a deal with her that you'll turn the fan off.  And get a lease, which will give you some rights!

  • 1 month ago

    Get a lock with a KEY--and put it on the door. Then let your roomie know that you're locking your door because you don't want anyone entering when you aren't there. Problem solved. 

  • 1 month ago

    Why don't you ask her why she's going into your room, and ask her to stop doing it.  If you still have problems then ask the landlord if you can put a lock on the door (essentially switch out the door knob with one that locks - like a front door doorknob). If the landlord won't let you do that and she won't stop going into your room, then either start looking for a new place to live, or try going into her room and hanging out there whenever she isn't around - see how she likes it.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I think the same thing happened to me, and the only difference between you, and I is you still have a place to live while I was kicked out, so feel free to get yourself kicked out if you want.

    My ex landlord was going into his tenants bedrooms that were in his house. I don't know if they gave him consent. I think he went into my bedroom as well, and I was not even in his house when he entered my bedroom. I never gave him consent to enter my bedroom when I was not in his house. If I remember correctly sometimes I would leave his house, for 1, 2, or 3 months, and then come back. I never left anything on. I would always shut off all of my electronics.

    I told him before moving into his house that I want my privacy, and guess what?

    I never got it what I wanted it!

    As a renter you sacrifice privacy, for the exchange of being able to save money. I was able to save enough money to buy a home, so now I am trying to figure out where I am going to be living, and what to buy.

    I have been brain storming, so I can try to figure out what I can live in, and where I can live. I am doing a lot of research!

    It doesn't matter what you pay! You could pay more, or less, but when it comes to getting privacy the only way to get your own privacy is to buy a livable asset that belongs to you, and you live in it alone.

    My bedroom door had a lock, and the only two people who had the key to the lock were me, and my ex landlord. I am not aware of any other of my ex roommates entering my bedroom, but I believe my ex landlord was going into my bedroom whenever he wanted, and I was living in the same house as my ex landlord.

    Lastly I am a male, and I am in my thirties.

  • 1 month ago

    No window typically means it's not even a bedroom and likely violates your state laws.

    I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for here other than confirmation about what you already know.  You confront her and listen to her lies.  Then you either continue to live there b/c you value low rent over privacy or you find a new place.  

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