Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 1 month ago

Hello Muslim brothers and sisters. I got married a year ago to my know wife and I dont think she ever fell in love with me.?

I usually wouldn't come on here for advice but I'm facing a problem and I need a Muslim to tell me how I should go about this. I've vented to imam's but they dont usually say much or help with my situation. I'm 25 and I got married to my wife a year and 4 months ago. Shes a year younger. Her family is a bit on the crazy/cultural side but my family is very wise and we follow the real Islam. Her family reached out to me and told me that I should marry their daughter. I'm actually her cousin and I agreed. I wanted to talk to her but they said it wasn't allowed until marriage. When the marriage day came, she looked very miserable but I thought I might change her mind. I never forced her to do anything with me on our wedding night. I even let her sleep sepretly. Throughout the year, I notice that she never wants to be close to me. I straight out told her that if she doesn't want to be with me, I will call her parents and send her back but she did not want that. She hardly ever talks to her parents and they always call me and tell me to force her to talk to them, which I do because I dont want to sound like a bad person. She distances herself too often and we never have intercourse. We do it once a month and I have to force it on her or she would never do it. I want a child so bad but she keeps saying she doesn't want children and it leaves me very frustrated. She doesnt even pray and I feel like she hates islam because whenever I talk about it, she takes it as a joke and laughs.

Update:

I tried to be patient, loving and understanding with her but she never wants to listen to anything. I think shes taking advantage of my kindness. I got married to be a happy man but this is not what I expected. I joke around and tell her I'm going to remarry and it doesn't bother her at all. She just wants to be far from me and never let's me get close no matter how hard I try.

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Are you really a man? Were you born in the West? Because you sound very very stupid. You should marry when you have met the right person, someone you love, has the same values as you and someone who actually has things in common with you. Never allow your family to push you into marriage. They themselves should understand how much responsibility marriage and children is. It's not always a bed of roses. Its best to marry when you are over 28, maturer, responsible, more wiser and you have more life skills/experiences. This girl does not want to marry you, she never did. You need to sit down with her and ask her what she wants. If she chooses to divorce, then please help her find a place to live, a job and give her some money to live on. Don't be mad at her, she sounds stupid, naive and she clearly has no backbone. If her parents wont support her then tell your wife she has to learn to be independent and next time marry someone she wants to be with and she loves. AND SO SHOULD YOU. Please get to know someone well, talk things through such as education, jobs, religion, politics, kids, etc etc first before you marry someone.

  • 1 month ago

    I do not know where are you . I am not a stupid man , aged 70 , to say you that the divorce is last option . First option is to call for or visit her parents all what is going on . Let them decide the fate of this marriage to avoid dispute in your family . Second option which tells Islam is to ignore her in sex and let her sleep in separate room . You say , she wants it. After doing so for a period of 3 months , send her away to her parents house telling them the story and tell her parents that u cannot bear this situation any more . Now , she will be Ok with u or her parents will decide ur divorce with her . Divorce her without taking in confidence to her parents will go a long way behind you till end . Thanks God , u have no child. Do not desire to have it in these circumstances in the given circumstances as the life of that child will be miserable in future . Pray to Allah for good of your future and remains no recourse , then only divorce her to be free to remarry . Abstain have a child till the matter is solved

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Take her out and have fun with her

    give her gifts

    take her to some trips

    be someone she looks up to

  • 1 month ago

    Divorce her and find real love

    Is this a trolling question ? 

    Are you that weak man?  You cannot find a someone to love?  

    Relief both of you and get divorce 

    Be honest you both don't love each other

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  • 1 month ago

    You should talk directly to her about this.  I sounds much like she married due to family pressure, and not because she wanted to.  I am afraid a divorce might be your only option, but, at least you should listen to her, and what she has to say.  And, "forcing" her to have sex is actually illegal in most places!  It is called sexual assault, or rape, and you can be charge for doing it to your own wife.

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