Is this poem good?
Locked away in the void, I ponder
Must I forever let my soul wander?
Bleed from my heart and send her to die
He's the one, he's perfect, he's mine
Crawling across the roads of fire
Am I honest with my feelings?
Or am I a liar?
I'm shattered, I'm broken
He was to be my first
The gleam from the silver point
She can't get away with him, lest my flames burst
She's the hypotenuse, she doesn't know what she's broken.
Fueling the flames, she didn't know what hit her
Her hopes shattered, home reduced to litter
Like a bird with two broken wings
I've proven to her
It's dangerous to make this siren sing.
- 4 weeks agoFavorite Answer
Let your vain and heart have your half.
You can't have his heart whole,
The chest of another
Has gold that is cold to you!
I mean "vain" that way, too.
- UserLv 74 weeks ago
Neglects rhythm and meter.
Rhyming is hit-and-miss.
- 4 weeks ago
It moves me. I think "with a broken wing" would leave room for hope and healing.