Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Should I call off the wedding ?

I feel like I have made a big mistake and I don’t know what to do. My fiancée has been wrapped up in a horrible custody battle for 3 years. Where we live they do not grant a divorce until you have your final custody order. All of the divorce issues where dealt with at the first court date in April of 2018. The mom made a ton of false allegations and dragged this out. The final hearing was aug of this year and his lawyer was instructed to type the final order up for the judges signature as per the judges ruling. We where told we will not have the order till next week and the wedding is that Saturday. I feel so sick, I asked the lawyer if he thinks we will have the final order and he assured me that we will he told me to go ahead with the wedding as planned and then if we have to get married the following week. I feel so stupid for taking his advice and listening that this would be over. I love my partner to death and it’s too late to cancel the venue. The lawyer also knows us well and told me that planning the wedding for almost 2 months after we would be just fine and told us how happy he is for us. What should I do? 

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Parts of this were hard to follow.  Are you saying you won't have the order in time for the wedding?  The lawyer told you to stick with your original plan and you'd have the order, but now he's saying this isn't true?

    If so, and you're sure the lawyer pretty much guaranteed the wedding date was safe, you and your fiance need to come down much harder on him.  It doesn't matter how well he knows you; this is borderline malpractice.  There are always strings that can be pulled or favors returned and he owes this to you.  In fact, if nothing else, you can threaten to sue him for the money you'll lose if you cancel it.

    It sounds like the wedding is a week from Saturday?  If so, you've got time to tell this guy to fix it.  If he doesn't, you will consult another atty and leave terrible reviews about this one.  It might not hurt to see another attorney anyway if there's no progress tomorrow.  This isn't complicated or expensive, since the new atty won't need all the gory details.  They just need to know that you'll be legal for marriage and your atty broke a promise to you.  You need to get an appt before a judge sometime in the next 3-4 business days.

    PS - Ignore the advice to have the wedding anyway.  This is fraud and it will be found out.  Your guests will think they're witnessing the biggest moment in your life and they aren't.  In fact, the officiant can't even pronounce you husband and wife w/out that paperwork.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Run like wings on your feet.

  • 1 month ago

    You have the wedding. And if the divorce isn't finalized yet.. then, when it is, the two of you go down to the courthouse, pay the nominal cost of having a judge marry you with the court clerk in attendance and quietly get yourselves legally married. Be happy. Go get yourself married. If he's not divorced, it's not legal (people don't need to know that) but you can make a legal wedding happen on nearly any afternoon. And you'll have already had your ceremony, your party and your happiness. Good luck. 

  • 1 month ago

    What the lawyer is saying makes a lot of sense. He’s saying go ahead with the wedding, however you just won’t be “legally” married until the court case is finalised and resolved. 

    You will still have a lovely day, filled with your nearest and dearest friends/family, and from the outside it will still appear to be a normal, unifying wedding. You can actually organise with the ordained minister to sign an ‘unofficial’ marriage certificate for the sake of still being able to take photos of signing a register.

    I understand this is a big decision, and I wish you all the best. My advice would be if you love this guy, nothing will stop you from giving each other the wedding you both deserve. All the best, and good luck! 

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