Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My husband is divorcing me because I cheated on him. It’s killing me to know we will never be together again. How can I cope ?

I’m not one of those people who cheat and keep cheating. I honest to GOD have learned my lesson. He keeps saying I will meet a better man than him. First of all I don’t believe this is a better man than him period. I strongly believe he is the only man that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. For 35 years I prayed and prayed for a man like him. Idk why I jeopardized our relationship when he has literally been the only man that hasn’t done been wrong. I’m sick of tolerating crap from men. The good men are all married and the single ones still want to be players. I don’t want to have flings or hook ups or casual sex. I’m 35 years old I want a husband and family. And the single men want to do is play around. I have been with 10 men in my lifetime and I’m not kidding when I say that every single one of them has dogged me out. Most of them cheated, a lot of them never communicated with me. Had to beg for simple communication. Beg for a call back beg for texts. I had men that wanted to hide me from the world. My husband can’t into my life and changed EVERYTHING. He was a Classic gentleman that showered me with love, he never cheated ( to my knowledge), he always texted and called, and he’s just always had my back period. I don’t want to go back into the dating game. I’ve lost hope in men. I really just went my husband back and would do anything to have him back. I crave companionship like everyone else. I had a stupid affair &I’m scared out of mind.

28 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You say he is the only m an who will treat you like you deserve, well you are a cheating ho and he is treating you as you deserve. Keep your legs closed!

  • 1 month ago

    If he doesn't want to forgive you and take you back, that's his right. You need to accept this and go on with your life.

  • 1 month ago

    If you loved him you would never betray him

  • 1 month ago

    Learn to do unto others …. You fvcked (up, down, sideways, whatever). This is the cost. You're husband thinks of you as a slut ho. There's really no reason why he shouldn't. By having sex with you, he risks disease. By having kids with you he risks being cuckolded. Why would he do that? It's over. You're now as alone as he is and feels. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Should have kept your legs shut, then, serves you right. Once a cheater, always a cheater

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you could beg him for forgiveness and hope he will go for it.

  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You may have learned your lesson, but you learned it too late.

    Your husband must divorce you.  He has no choice.  Even if he wanted to give you another chance, he can't.  There is no way your husband could ever trust you again.  You ruined that.

    How do you cope?  Adopt a few cats.  No, I'm not joking about the crazy cat lady.  I'm just saying, at your age...you have no good options to "cope".  Owning cats might help you keep your sanity.  That is the best possible outcome of this horrible situation....that you come out of it with your sanity intact.

  • kristy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Oh well. Too bad, so sad. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You made your choice the moment you were unfaithful. The only thing you can do now is look deep within yourself and find the reason why. Once you find it, communicate that to him and be honest about it. You can apologize until the ends of the Earth but that doesn't show effort or change. If you can find your "why", then you have something there to work with and put effort towards improving. Marriage counseling is a start. Trust is like a plate. Throw it on the ground and it shatters. It isn't the same as it once was, but it can become whole once again with time and continued effort. However if he isn't willing to start over then you are just going to have to accept that. You made your choice, now it is time for him to make his.

    All that being said, as someone who cheated once a long time ago, I know in my heart that if you really are in love with someone that you wouldn't cheat on them. I was with a guy who treated me like a queen, had a wonderful relationship with his family, so many things about him were on my "I could marry him someday" list. But I still cheated. Why? Because as lovely as he was and as good as he made me feel, something there just wasn't working. I didn't want to admit to myself that I didn't love him, that there was no spark, because much like you I prayed for a man like him to come into my life and when he did I felt like I should be grateful, regardless of what my heart was telling me. I felt so guilty for trying too hard to make it work and breaking his heart in the process. But that experience taught me that you wouldn't seek out the affections of someone else if you were truly satisfied with what you have right in front of you. That is where your "why" comes in. It isn't there to blame him or to justify your actions. It is there to hopefully point you in the right direction for the future, so you don't end up here again. 

  • Alex
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You may have learned your lesson. I believe that such is possible and quite probable. 

    But you have to look at it from his side. You betrayed him. You betrayed his trust when you cheated. Imagine how you would feel if he had been the one to cheat on you. 

    It's possible that he has a friend who had someone cheat on them, promises were made that it would never happen again, forgiveness was offered, and they did it again. 

    I know a few friends (male and female) who have had that happened to them. So it's not hard to understand why someone might not be willing to forgive and forget. 

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