Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

What to do with this “friend”? ?

I’ve been friends with this other girl for a few years and she always says “you are one of my best friend and I love you”. I’m that type of friend that would run to a friend if they need me, and I would invite them to my birthday because we are close. I take friendships very seriously. So on my birthday which was in the middle of this virus,  I invited her to come with me to do some errands just because I couldn’t have a birthday gathering back then because of covid so we hung out, and I hung out with some friends also individually. On HER birthday, which was 2 days ago i notice she posted pictures of her birthday celebration  with “FRIENDS” at her place. I wished her a happy birthday. I called her that day to see how her birthday was and she said “I didn’t do much, I didn’t feel like celebrating but Allan (boyfriend) convinced me so I invited a couple close friends, people that are close to me and I love, just small gathering”

I just don’t like fake people or people that just say things they don’t mean or pretend they are your friend. To be honest I felt hurt. 

Should I cut her off? Or just keep quiet and move on?

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    That would hurt me too. I don't think she's much of a friend not to include you. I would move on. 

  • 1 month ago

    I don't think you understand friendship.  Friendship is accepting other people despite their imperfections, not dismissing them when you feel disappointed by them occasionally.   While you may think of yourself as a great and loyal friend, you are not perfect.  Thus to expect people you consider friends to be perfect is ridiculous.  Besides, she didn't do anything to you.  The flaw is that she implied you weren't among those she is close to and loves.  She never made this statement  and you have no proof she was lying when she told you that you were one of her best friends and loves you.  Thus your unfounded conclusion and lack of understanding is a nothing but a false assumption that you are ready to destroy a friendship over?.  A true friend wouldn't do so.

  • 1 month ago

    I've barely climbed out of my home to go anywhere or do anything since March. I have tried to walk both sides of the line though and I have had ONE date with a girlfriend to eat and have a drink OUTSIDE once a month. Different girlfriend. One girlfriend a month and Once a month. And it's strange. Because the friend that I have USUALLY met up with once a week is now someone I haven't seen in two months and one of the reasons for that is that she's NOT quarantined. We talk on the phone every few days but it's all about what SHE'S doing and she doesn't even ask what I'm doing because it's always the same, "watering my orchard, my vegetable garden, putting harvest up, redeveloping the herb garden and the front planter. Going crazy about politics, being of help to my husband (very much quarantined)".... doesn't really offer a lot of excitement but I'm not going to talk about the gal I shared time with THIS month when it wasn't her. I think, during this crazy time in all of our lives, that we just have to be glad we even have friends and quit comparing and weighing, and getting offended and judging. You're friends because you like each other, yes? Then be grownups about it and understand that on the other side of this thing, we'll all be very happy and more social again. Calling your friend a FAKE and you don't like FAKE people? Sure, maybe you do need to end it. You have rules for sure (who doesn't) but it sounds to me like you don't like this gal very much. Or you'd be glad to be her friend whether you were a part of her small gathering or not. Doesn't sound like you're interested enough to be a lifelong friend. It's not a competition. Friendship is just a fact. Not a competition. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You should say something to her and see how she responds.

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