Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Is it really a bad thing to leave your spouse when they are ill?

My  husband developed an auto-immune condition(non-life threatening) but it made him chronically tired and unable to work. I found it very difficult looking after him.  He wasn't a bad person, but I had to give up work to take care of him. We were  not getting any financial assistance and no money coming in.  I met a lovely guy(in the meantime) in a coffee shop.  He is lovely. We have been seeing each other when we can but that is not always possible. The only way to do it is to leave my husband, divorce him and marry this guy. We've known each other 8 months now. He is working, financially secure and is in good health.  I have fallen in love with him.

My family know my intentions and are furious, but my welfare and happiness is important.  Is it a bad thing to do?  Leave a spouse while they are ill? I am sure my husband could go into care once I separate from him and get the best care there is.I care about my husband but I care about myself as well.  Please, no harsh comments. Thank you.

20 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    So much for “for better or for worst”  :(

  • 4 weeks ago

    Yes and if you do so you're a terrible person

  • Mary
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    Im not in a position to judge anyone but it seems like quite a common thing to do.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    in a word, yes....................................

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    What happened to your vows "for better or worse".  Would you like it if it was reversed and you were sick and your husband was seeing another woman?  You are cheating on him or will be.  Divorcing because he is sick is wrong.

    Look into care facilities now to help you out.  But do not go looking for another just because your husband is getting care he needs.  Stick it out to the end.

  • 1 month ago

    I don't think people like you can understand complicated words like ethic, commitment and love, so I am not going to bother trying to explain them to you.  But I will point out there is a monstrous difference between leaving an ill spouse and leaving an ill spouse for another person.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    A bad thing? Well it's not as bad as the miserable trolling you're trying to pull off in your amateur way. I wonder what you imagine you get out of it?

  • 1 month ago

    You should tell your new man why you are leaving your husband so he knows that if he ever gets ill, you will leave him too. Don't put it in the marriage vows if you don't mean it, "through sickness and in health". 

  • 1 month ago

    Nice try, troll..... you must be very lonely

  • 1 month ago

    So much to digest with this. 

    1. You don't plan to just leave your ill spouse, you plan to leave them for another person.

    2. It sounds like you are actively having an affair while married. 

    3. You've involved your family in your affair...

    4. You want to leave your ill spouse to marry someone you've known for EIGHT months (facepalm)

    I honestly think you need a therapist. It sounds like you could use some help with decision making skills.

    And to answer your question: yes. Leaving your ill spouse in this context seems selfish and awful. 

    However there are contexts where it would not. 

    Once again, I really think you should start seeing a therapist. 

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