Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

I'm in a toxic relationship right now. But i don't know what to do?

Even tho he keep saying mean words. I'm so painful/.... i always wish he could change.... but until now i decide to post this bcus i feel the pain from his mean words again now,,,..... idk what to do ... so toxic

6 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    Break up with him and move on. I was in a toxic relationship, broke up with him and he’s still making me miserable. The sooner you leave, the better. Just be smarter than I am and block him! 

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    The sensible thing to do is to move on....quickly 

  • 1 month ago

    I think that you've answered your own question. Mutual respect is one of the keys to any long lasting relationship.

    After you get out of this relationship and are ready to date again, may I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money). 

    My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    PS If you need help getting out of this relationship safely, please call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 and ask for advice.

    PPS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:

    1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)

    2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating

    3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)

    4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question

    5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around

    6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)

    7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you 

    8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful

    9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you

    10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you

    11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet

    12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes 

    13. Be known as a hard worker

    14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)

    15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all

    16. Truly care about other people 

    17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable

    18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this

    19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person

    20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you

    21. Don’t act desperate for a date

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
  • Liz
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    In the words of James Brown, 'give it up, turn him loose." Stop whining about it.

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  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    "i always wish he could change"

    And while you're about it you can wish it would snow peppermints and lemon drops. 

    What you do is rid yourself of this nonsense idea that he's EVER going to change. 

    And understand that women who are averse to being single, who are eager to be in a relationship, are women who are unhappy most of the time. If they aren't partnered up with a guy, they're unhappy about that. If they ARE partnered up with a guy, it's usually a guy they got too serious about too fast only to have things not work out so well so they're unhappy about that. And if they end that unhappy situation, do they celebrate? NOOOOO, they immediately resume being unhappy about NOT being partnered up. Being anxious to be in a relationship is like making your mind up to be unhappy pretty much all the time. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Get out, move on

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