Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

What made my fiance cheat on me? ?

Basically, my fiance told me she has been cheating on me. We have been together for almost 6 years. When she told me what happened she cried and said that it was the biggest mistake of her life. I had thought we had a near perfect relationship, so I asked her; why? Did I do something wrong? Her answer didn't make sense to me: she said that our relationship is the best, that I've always been so good to her, and that she doesn't know what lead her to do it. She said she had to tell me because the guilt was tearing her up inside, and since then she hasn't stopped begging me to forgive her. She added that she still loves me and knows I'm mad, but honestly I'm just depressed and I don't know what to think. I had absolute trust in her, and I really did and still do love her, but I don't know if I can ever recover from this. How could she do this if she didn't even have a reason?! If our relationship meant so much to her, why would she do this

63 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago

    If you two are up to it, then I recommend couples counseling. If she won't go, then go for yourself. Trust has been violated and it takes time to rebuild, that's why both of you going would be the better option. If only you go, at least it can help you process the feelings of betrayal. 

    I know you are looking for the "why" answer. She may discover she has some issues of her own which need to be addressed, especially if marriage is still on the table. You may decide after all of that that the relationship isn't worth saving. Unfortunately, trying to fast forward through these things seldom works. The pain just festers and reemerges later.  

  • 3 weeks ago

    Interesting thing about that aspect of the Catholic church where you go to confession, asking for forgiveness and you can have the slate cleaned so you can offend again expecting to be forgiven every time.

    You say 'cheating on me' which sounds like more than once. As many have said, if she was tempted once, in all likelihood, it will happen again.

    You can forgive her because you love her, but the cheating has left a stain on your heart of love and unfortunately the hurt will resurface every now and again. It will definitely affect your feelings and probably your actions towards her. 

    We're all selfish and live with the self indulgences of our significant others, but this betrayal, that follows you into the bedroom, crosses the line.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Because she could,sex is fun,exiting and 99% of the time its just stuffing body parts together because it feels pleasant.She sounds bored,maybe you should do more stuff together,camping,shopping,holidays ect.If she told you thats great,now at least you know she has a conscience,don't forget to be a her friend as well as her boyfriend.I think shes realised what she could lose.get an sti test.x

    Source(s): Life,seriously,its just stuffing for fun.x
  • 4 weeks ago

    Well, at least she told you the truth. Honestly, I would hold off on the wedding and work on building trust again. If you can't get over it, then just break it off and move on. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You are not at fault.At least she owned up.Her guilt got to her.THe main thing is you look after yourself from now on. Its likely she got tempted by someone else and thats why it happened. Dont bully yourself over this.

  • 4 weeks ago

    She's a cheater, that's why. You're depression stems from being lonely. You're beginning to realize that once again you are alone. Break up with her. It's better to be lonely and alone, than lonely when you're "with someone". 

  • 4 weeks ago

    who cares.. dump her and move on.. a cheater will always be a cheater.. do not give her more chances.. DROP THE CHEATER and MOVE ON.

  • 4 weeks ago

    That's a good question but maybe she has a reason but she's just being secretive about it. It's best that you moved on from her. Trust me. I broke up with my bf about 5 months ago, he was still secretive about his parents and I just had to let him go. Find a girl who can treat you better!🙂

  • Teal
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    I think she only told you because she thought you were going to find out soon anyway. Her confession was all about her guilt, her hurt feelings, and shielding herself from culpability. She didn't take any personal responsibility and immediately pressured you to forgive her. This isn't the behavior of someone who is genuinely remorseful or interested in doing the work to earn your trust. She just wants it all to go away and to spare herself the embarrassment of your broken engagement. You will probably never really understand why she cheated, and you don't need to. Closure is a choice you make for yourself. Think about seeing a counselor. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Of course she has a reason, she just isnt telling it to you.

    She is STILL lying to you, she is STILL disrespecting you.

    If she can do this when your relationship was "the best"  one can only imagine what she would do when times get tough.

    She is telling you LOUD & CLEAR who she really is, you are just choosing not to listen.

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