Anonymous asked in HealthDiseases & ConditionsSTDs · 4 weeks ago

Should I tell my ex boyfriends girlfriend that he had unprotected sex with me and I have genital herpes?

I found out last year that I had genital herpes and I've been open and honest about it with potential partners and told them I don't want anything sexual happening unless I'm in a relationship... Well I started talk to this one guy I've known for awhile who had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl who was supposedly pregnant with someone else's child and he left her.  Long story short we had sex without a condom after dating for awhile and then he informed me that he was getting back with his ex pregnant girlfriend. Should I ask him if he's going to tell her that he had unprotected sex with me or just go straight to her with the information, especially since she's with child?

1 Answer

  • 4 weeks ago

    It sounds like you're just looking for an excuse to cause drama and exact some sort of revenge on a guy you failed to snatch.

    Turning to this forum for a sense of justification is hardly the equivalent of soul-searching on your part.  The fact is that, if you're going to tell someone about your herpes you should have told him prior to sex, and if you DID tell him, then it's up to HIM what he does with that information for the rest of his life - NOT up to YOU.

    Nice try, bringing the unborn baby into the equation to make it seem like you're suddenly being thoughtful and morally-motivated.  But too late.  There's nothing you can do to stop him from spreading that virus, once you've passed it to him.  And once the mother is infected, there's nothing medicine can do to prevent it from spreading to the child during birth.  (Which might - or might NOT - happen.)  Telling her changes nothing, except perhaps messing up his relationship - so THAT would be your actual motivation, should you choose to do so.

    Another way to look at this would be that the guy left you for his old girlfriend not because of anything having to do with you - but because of something about HIM.  In other words, he might have some weakness or neediness in his personality that drove his choice, and you're lucky that he's gone and out of your life.  You can do better.  Consider him a bullet dodged.  And move on.

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