Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

I’m starting all over at 32 feel like a failure ?

I got married when I was 24. My husband had 2 affairs with 2 different women during our marriage. I’ve been scared to walk away and start over because I am in my 30’s and felt it would be hard to start over at my age. I just found out he had another affair and I’ve decided to file for divorce. I’m so scared it’s going to be too late for me. I have no children and I’ve always wanted a family. I figure at this rate now being divorced at 32 I might not have the opportunity to start a family like it might be too late or something. I’m so depressed I’m trying to keep my head above water. To make matters WORSE the girl he had an affair with last week tested positive for Covid so now I had to get tested and I’m stuck here at a hotel by myself with just my own thoughts until my test results come back. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I’m so depressed and I’m honestly contemplating ending my life. I feel like I wasted so many years of my life on this bullsh*t. Any advice on how to keep myself sane until my test results come back? Any advice on getting through this? I feel like things will never get better. Honestly want to just throw in the towel and give up. 

23 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Well i know you're not where you wanna be just yet but even though it doesn't feel like it you're in a better place than you where before. Because you were with a cheater and now you're not anymore. You're already taking a step in the right direction. Its not gonna be too late for you there are women older than you that have kids and start a family. Just don't rush into anything because that never ends well. I know right now sucks but it will get better one day you'll look back and you'll wonder what you even saw in your ex and why you wasted your time on him. I hope this helps and good luck and hang in there it will get better.

  • 1 month ago

    If a spouse cheats on you it is a hard thing to deal with and get over and in some cases giving it a second chance is not always a bad thing.  I he/she cheats on you twice it's time to pack your bags and run.  Things are NOT going t get easier and 99% of the time they will do it again.  Count your losses and move on.  Life is too short to waste any more time.  Find someone who can be faithful and have the same goals such as having a family.  Good luck

  • 1 month ago

    As your husband had his 3rd. affair in the 8 years you've been married I don't believe you're the one who is the failure.

  • 1 month ago

    The fact that you decided to walk away and start over puts you ahead of most people. Most people are so afraid to be single that they settle for an unhappy, unfulfilling life. They cling to the wrong person and never make room for the right person. They are never alone so there is no reason to work on themselves or find themselves. You learned this lesson at the age of 32. That is not a failure, that is a huge victory.

    Solitude is an essential component of a successful life. You can use this time to work on yourself - go to the gym to make yourself more physically attractive and healthy, focus on being happy. And when you have truly become the strongest version of yourself, you will attract someone into your life who is more amazing than you can imagine.

    Source(s): Dating expert
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  • 1 month ago

    Oh man... yikes... that really sucks that you are going through this but I am about to say hey I'm 36 going on 37 and I'M single and wanted to start a family too but well... I don't know what happend really.... I am not in your same situation but if you're THAT depressed that you are thinking of the unthinkable, can you at least talk to some loved ones?! I am sure they care about you. If not, then try going to a friend or cousin or even a support group if you can find them! Forget your ex, he's scum. I know that it might just be me blowing something over your head (because I know you want to get married and have a family and that is every woman's- well most- dream to have a husband and a baby) BUT it really isn't everything.. at least that's how I feel. In a few years you'll mayb be like me. I have really nothing to advice but I know I DID meet someone when I was 32! 32 is still YOUNG! Anyway, concentrate on yourself now and try your best to improve your life. That's the ONLY THING YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER really. For what it's worth to you, good luck! 

    Source(s): 36, Asian Filipina, Cali
  • Tara
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    DON'T look back .. look forward.  You are still very young -- and you've got a new beginning that could be fabulous !   Things will get better for you if you get all the negative things out of your mind.  You've got plenty years -- the whole world is out there waiting on you .  You can go forward .. forget the past.  If you have covid - think positive that you are going to be ok.  Realize that things are not going great right now - but you plan on making your future wonderful -- and know it IS possible.

  • 1 month ago

    Thirty two is young and you're is too short to put up with bulls**t. Give it a little time, you'll be fine. There is someone for everyone, it'll work out, I promise.

  • 1 month ago

    Your husband is the failure here. You are better off without him. At your age you'll be meeting more mature men rather than twenties kids! 

    Catch the brilliant coach Anthony Robbins on Youtube. And/or Eckart Tolle. 

  • Marty
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Time is the only thing that will help. Don't think yourself a failure for someone else misdeeds, your ex is the failure. You will get past this and grow a little stronger, by no means should your life be over. 32 isn't too old and you'll still have a chance at a family. But at this moment about the only advice I can give is to fall apart and cry it out. After that you put yourself back together and begin your new life with confidence that you can do it.

  • 1 month ago

    Try to get on one those talk shows that the audience gets to hear your story and decide the outcome. You don't have to agree and you get high exposure for a man you might be looking for.

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