is it normal to feel this way about your mother?

I get sad that she'll die and don't want harm to come to her but we argue a lot bc she calls me a bad child.

Ex I was in my room and she had apparently called me from dwnstairs a lot of times & she came up in my room yelling that i'm a liar saying "you KNOW you heard me, you just like pretending you didn't so you can make your mother look like an idiot calling you that many times!" & when she asks me did I like dinner she made (she's a pro chef) & I say no (bc she experiments with food I don't agree with) she yells and calls me a liar saying "you're just saying that because you hate to compliment me. I can never satisfy you." (even though most of her meals are out of this world. but the second I critique one she yells & i just end up lying whenever she asks my opinion on anything)So I find myself when I'm around her even if I'm in a normal good mood, thinking back to the arguments we have and find myself getting upset with her and suddenly not wanting to be in her presence anymore because she's just made me feel like i'm a terrible child when she has gotten the story completely wrong and I just really hate that about her. Like we joke a lot because she's very sarcastic & funny when she makes me laugh she'll joke and say "i'm a cool mom don't you think? it's kinda hard not to love me." and I can't help my mind instantly replaying every argument we've ever had where she has lied on me in my head. And I always respond "yeah" but like I feel like it's a half truth.

1 Answer

  • 4 weeks ago

    Its normal to get frustrated with your Mom, and your Mom to get frustrated with you.  What isn't normal is holding on to a memory of  how you didn't get along because it serves as a hurdle to happier times with your Mom.

    I empathize with you so will tell you my two little secrets that has helped me get along with my mother better.  

    1. She doesn't need to know the truth about everything.  It is perfectly ok to appease her even if doing so is a lie.  Telling her what she wants to hear is easier than not and allows you to avoid the disagreement.

    2.  When Mom wants to argue, don't let her bait you.  Instead agree with everything she says.  No one can argue with someone who agrees with you.

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