Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 3 weeks ago

Telling an employee of a business where you’re a regular that you’ve been thinking about her: inappropriate?

Did I cross a line here?

I am a member of a private club and am a regular.  The staff knows the members and we know the staff, as acquaintances.  They are wonderful.

The club closed due to coronavirus and just reopened.  I went back and saw one of my favorite staff members.  I told her that I was glad to see her, glad that she was back and that I had just been thinking about her.  That’s true; I had- I was hoping that she was OK and hadn’t lost her job.

Was I out of line?  I’m a guy and we are acquaintances.  But she recognized me even with a face mask.


Thanks, everyone.  I certainly was not hitting on her and am embarrassed if she thought that I was.  I guess from now on I just say “nice to see you” and nothing more?

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Adding on you have been thinking about her was a bit much. Sounds like you were hitting on her.

  • 3 weeks ago

    YES. It is inappropriate. A lawyer did that to me at the law library where I worked. We were not friends, we were only acquainted through the legal profession and I was always extremely uncomfortable around him after that, and so was he because he could tell his words were unwelcome.

  • 3 weeks ago

    It's fine, as long as you didn't linger over the conversation.

    You are over-thinking this.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Only if the staff member has a problem with it.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    No, not at all.  It would have been different if you has inferred you had been thinking about her in a romantic sense, but perfectly acceptable to show concern for her health and professional life.

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