N asked in Social SciencePsychology · 3 weeks ago

I have nightmares of being raped by my father, any help?

The title is semi-self-explanatory but there are other details that I think are important.

M father is not a nice person. He likes to portray himself as a nice person to strangers, but he’s emotionally and physically abusive. He has been emotionally and physically abusing my mother, me, and my brother for years.

He traumatized me due to the mental abuse when I was a child, as he only started getting physically abusive with me when I was 12.

He is narcissistic, manipulative and a liar. A horrible person.

I have been having nightmares about my father raping me since I was 11. I remember in the nightmares feeling horrified. I felt dirty and scared.

In one nightmare, the rest of my family was watching the entire thing and I remember thinking, "Why aren’t you do anything? Why won’t you help me?" 

It felt like I had thought that before. 

My father has always been very touchy to me and my siblings. Always wanting to put his hand on my thighs/legs while we watch a movie; wanting to rub my feet; etc.

I’ve always protested because it makes me feel so violated and horrified. I always feel so dirty.

I get this random flinch-like urge around my father to slam my legs shut. To protect my middles.

When I hear his voice I get the feeling of being violated and used. I feel filthy.

I told my therapist about this and she genuinely thinks I might be a CSA victim. There’s absolutely no way to prove anything and honestly, I can barely process these things. I don’t know what to do, any help?

2 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Beware of false memory. Memory of things which never happened. You can read about false memory on www.wikipedia.org  Therapists can accidentally create false memory in their patients. False memory is a real problem for law enforcement. That being said, you should always assert your rights and defend yourself. You can contact child protective services and report the physical and mental abuse which you clearly remember really happened.

    Source(s): .
  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If you can contact social services.

    They may be able to help.

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