Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

My cousin’s mom died, but I didn’t inform our mutual friend (his ex from junior high), due to him avoiding her. Was I wrong to not tell her?

He’s married and also a dad, and our friend is almost 40/never married/no kids.

Our friend (whose hobby is poetry) read him a poem [that referenced him] when she last ran into him. One of the verses mentions a junior high school Sweetheart Dance that she asked him to, which he said he already has a date, but will let her know if his plans change. Forgive me for sounding mean, but my cousin’s ex is VERY unattractive, so he was obviously letting her down easy, & therefore had no intentions of asking her to the dance even if his date had backed out. But from her perspective, according to the poem, she really thought she was competition to his date. Before anyone assumes any obsessive motives, please keep in mind of the following:

1. It was just puppy love.

2. She didn’t write that poem specifically to read to him, & therefore was unaware that she would run into him. The poem is just part of her collection of her life, trials and tribulations.

3. She is not a home wrecker & is 100% acceptable of him being married, so she had no intentions of trying to get back with him.

Basically, she doesn’t understand that some things are too awkward to discuss & are best left unsaid. And she should not be stroking his ego. That’s his wife’s job, & since his wife is drop-dead gorgeous, his ex made a fool of herself. Am I a bad friend for not telling her that his mother died? FYI, she had mentioned to me that he’s been ignoring her texts, so I think that’s a red flag he’s trying to avoid her.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If your aunt and "mutual friend" are avoiding each other, why would you tell her?  You can tell whomever you want.

  • 1 month ago

    There is no right or wrong here, simply comes down to personal choice and ultimately, only you know your intention behind not telling this person about the passing.  If this decision sits comfortably with you, then the opinion of another need not matter.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    thats up to you if you wanted to tell him or not

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