Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

why did my ex bf tell me this?

My ex bf and I are friends, he has his gf and I have my bf. He told me he has thought about me often, I told him I have a bf now who I deeply love and he loves me probably even more, since he has eliminated idk how many people of his fb just because I didn't like them and gave me his password, has introduced me his sis, and next time his grand ma. My ex bf said he does not think that that is love, I asked him if he was jealous he said a little and I said ok that explains it all, he said I didn't say it because of it. He said "I didn't say because of it, but because that's what I think" . Do you think he said it out jealousy?

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  • 1 month ago
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    No, I do not think he said it out of jealousy. Yet, to be open to my opinion, you would need to be open to being incorrect in your assessment of the reason he said what he did and most humans struggle with this as the mind likes to prove itself right and disregard other opinions. This is called cognitive dissonance. 

    Moving on, as I read your question start to finish, before I got to what your boyfriend said about it not being love, I too thought that. What I feel he is trying to say and what I was thinking as I read what you said is....giving someone a password, so u can make sure they arent doing wrong and them to prove it to you(there is no other reason for u to have this password) and removal of following people u dont like(this act does not show love either only submission and control...lightweight and immaturity to be so obsessed with FB friends status). The introduction to his sister is the closes thing to love, but this still is not what I would use as evidence of love as some people intro lots of people to their family. 

    So, ur ex is just saying he disagrees with your assessment of love, which not to be offensive, sounds rather juvenile. You also do not need to prove to someone else that u know someone loves you and justifying it to your ex sounds juvenile. 

    When your rich, you dont have to prove to people you are. They see it. It shows. Its the same with love.

    I would more respect Im so in love. This guy really makes sure I feel secure and is so respectful of my wants and needs. We're a really good fit. 

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