Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

I had an affair and broke up a family ?

3 years ago I began to develop feelings for my best friends husband of 13 years, he was 11 years older than me, his wife 5 years older than me. One day I couldn’t get intouch with her so messaged her husband on Facebook as she had arranged to meet me. He told me her phone was broken and that she said she was on her way. He kept messaging asking how I was, it went from there, we arranged to meet, we had sex and I got pregnant with his baby, when I told him he was so happy and said he was going to leave his wife for me, but then she announced she was also pregnant and was still not aware of the affair, he told her we had been seeing each other. She hit him and kicked him and threw him out, he came to me. she messaged me saying how bad I was and that did I know she was pregnant with his baby, I said yes he told me but did he tell you that I’m also pregnant with his baby? That made her worse, she began harassing him and stalking him, driving past my house all of the time to see us. Police were called numerous times, her husband put in for a divorce, she used their children against him who were 13, 12, and 9, they hated me and wanted to see him on his own, he wouldn’t go, they said they hated our unborn baby and wish it would die. We moved away. We are engaged now and our baby was 2 in summer, his other children do not want to see him still, this depresses him, but he chose me I didn’t steal him. He’s embarrassed that he was to 2 year olds with different moms. Am I a bad person? 

26 Answers

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  • car253
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You MUST be out of your mind to break up a family.   His Ex-wife and kids will always hate you and him for breaking up their family.     I hate cheaters.   You both cheated. 

    I know a similar family.     Yes,  YOU really are a very BAD person.    Really stupid to do what you did.   Leave this guy and let his family have him back, if they will take him back.   They really should not take this cheater back.   

    YOU ARE A VERY BAD PERSON.    

  • 4 weeks ago

    Men please never ever ever get married.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Just imagine him dumping you and your two year old for one of your best friends and you will get the answer for your question. And this will most probably happen by the way, one way or another. Oh and get ready to answer your child when he/she grows up and ask you "mom, how did you and dad meet?". Well, I actually had this best friend and ..................

  • 4 weeks ago

    It isn't only your fault; he has half the blame, but yes, you helped break up a family.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You were very wrong for cheating, I have no respect for cheaters but I won't throw bloody insults at you like some people might on here. You did break up his family but his ex was also wrong for harassing him and turning his children against him, that is not the way to deal with this situation. I understand why his kids would be angry with him, to have to imagine his dad with another woman and another child, they are scared their father will prefer his new child over them, they also thought their parents loved each other, I would be devastated if my parents were divorcing and I would also be angry at my parents if one cheated on the other. Your child isn't at fault for you and your fiance's mistakes, babies are innocent so it's completely wrong for her and her kids to wish death upon your baby, now your fiance's kids might unnecessarily bully your child over this so moving away was the right option to keep your child away from them. Why did you have an affair with your best friend's husband behind her back? she feels betrayed by you, if my best friend did that to me, I would throw her completely out of my life, imagine someone you consider close like a sister doing that to you? how would you handle it? his kids can't be forced to see their dad if they don't want to, I understand why your best friend and her kids are angry, I would be too, you ruined your friendship with her and her marriage, but she is handling this all wrong, you and him could have sat down with your friend one on one each and talk to her before getting together with her ex husband behind her back just like that or you could have tried to move on and find someone else, or he could have filed for divorce from her, yet you chose to be the mistress and you both chose to have an affair, and her ex isn't regretful for his actions considering he chose you and is marrying you, and now he is depressed because his kids want nothing to do with him, that's all on him, sorry to say this but you did break up his family, he as well broke up his own family. You did some damage there. Who knows if she will forgive you, things like these are unforgivable. Cheating destroys the entire family and the kids are most affected. Also if he cheated on her with you, he might cheat on YOU, I can't guarantee but time will tell. Take and accept responsibility and face the consequences for your own actions.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Yes, you are a bad person.  So is he.  You have both destroyed multiple lives.  You deserve each other.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Yes, I’d say you certainly aren’t a good person, and neither is your baby daddy. You betrayed your best friend in the worst way possible, there is no defense for that. His children’s feelings are perfectly understandable, and they may choose to NEVER have a relationship with him, you, or your child ever again. You all need to accept that as one of the many consequences to your actions. 

    Oh, and both you and he should be aware of deciding to be with a partner willing to cheat, because chances are good it will happen again.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    He shouldn't force his kids to see him. His kids will be very unhappy if he does. No child should be forced to see a parent who they don't like. He made his choice to have an affair. His kids are mad at him. It is what it is. His kids might verbally abuse the baby so it's best to keep his kids away from you. Your husband should move on with his new life and forget his kids. If he was unhappy in his marriage, he should have filed for divorce instead of cheating. Cheating hurts the whole family, including the kids. His other kids should be put in therapy and counseling. They have a lot of anger and pain.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Most people would say you are a bad person. Some may understand we can't help how we feel. 

    If I were you, as hard as it may be for YOU, you could try to talk things out together. All three of you and make things work as a family because there are other children involved. Get it? It's not all about the three of you. Its about the children. Put your pride aside (all three of you) and make sure the children get to love and know one another. Work out your differences. You are all adults ! I know it may be difficult but consider a counselor, therapist, and psychiatrist for all three of you. 

    I hope she apologizes for wishing your baby would die. I do not agree with wishing ill upon children especially unborn children. Not condoning her behaviors but a pregnant woman gets stressed easily from my understanding. And that was probably a lot for her to handle since she's the one he left along with his other babies (children). That's a huge life adjustment in addition to carrying another baby for him. So that's why she seemed like a raging lunatic. Its also not good for the baby's health, etc..

    Be a better person and speak to him about working things out with her so they can co-parent. Get rid of the negative aggression. I hope his depression is an awakening for him to realize he has to fix his whole family, WITH you alongside him. 

  • mokrie
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Yes your a bad person. And you will learn your lesson when your stolen man sleeps with the next tramp to spread her legs for him.

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