Jealous of My Best Friend?
I met my best friend as a freshman in college and we are both pre-med majors. I've always admired her determination and her drive to succeed. Now we are juniors and I can't help but constantly feel jealous of her. Her GPA is soo much better than mine, she's so outgoing and personable, she has so much more going for her than me. She does clinical, volunteering, leadership, tutoring, med scribing, shadowing, the list goes on. She has wayyy more money than me, and it feels like we come from two different worlds. Of course, I still support her and I care, and she supports me too and tries to help me at times. Lately, my insecurities have been getting the better of me and I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't tell her because this is a me problem not a her problem. I realized my dream to become a doctor only recently so I'm really lacking for applications. Medical school is so competitive and I just want to do well, but I feel like I'm failing in comparison. There are probably so many students like her, and I feel like I won't make it. I don't know how to push pass my jealous and it's making me feel so guilty. What should I do??
- 1 month ago
Can't keep reading beyond the first three lines. If she doesn't feel the need to post on here you should definitely feel jealous of her.
- chris nLv 71 month ago
OOh you sound pretty depressed to me. I suggest you see your own doctor about it first off. Then perhaps a few sessions of counselling to discover why you have such low self-esteem might help. Once your depression has lifted and you dont' feel so down about yourself, you will view all this in a totally different light. You like this girl a lot but you seem to have forgotten that you are two totally different people with different histories and maybe classes and financial histories. You only have to do the best you can. Comparing yourself with others is NOT a sensible thing to do for your own sanity and you actually KNOW this already. See your doctor. Good luck
- Anonymous1 month ago
I think the best thing to do is to be yourself. I know it sounds cliche but the reason why many people admire your friends is because she is genuine; she has her own personality and that manifests itself through the activities she engages in. Conversely, if she mimicked someone else then people would see through her as she would come across as being fake. Therefore, my advice would be to do things you enjoy and feel an affinity with. What you will find is that you have beautiful personality and this will show through when you are doing things that genuinely reflect who you are. I really hope this helps :)
- - Mé -Lv 71 month ago
Well first, jealousy is a normal feeling but it's a symptom of something bigger.
You are not jealous of her per se, but of the things she has or does, like her GPA, her personality traits etc.
Instead dwelling on "oh she's so good, she's better! I have so much less going on" ask her/observe. What does she do? Maybe she studies more than you do. Maybe she tries to listen to other people and that's why she's so personable etc.
There are things you cannot change right now (like the amount of money she has or you... or well. her and your family). But the other things, you can work on them
Instead comparing yourself to her, or anyone else, ask yourself what kind of person you want to be? What kind of personality traits do you admire in other people? Write down a list and work on them.
You want to be more personable? Listen to people, learn to actively listen. Smile more? Be more approachable? Mimic their movements?
You want a better GPA? Ask your friend for studying tips, read more, take more notes, get in a study group, etc.
You and her are different and you and her and amazing people but unless you don't look at this as "Ok what can I do to improve myself" instead "oh no , she's so good and i suck" you'll suffer.
It doesn't matter if there is going to be more people like her in med school. The competition is with yourself. Out there there are always going to be more intelligent people than you, more beautiful people than you. But you are you. Focus on yourself, not others.
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- sᴛᴀʀsᴇᴇᴅLv 41 month ago
You're just immature. You really dont sound like an adult. Be happy with yourself because some people cant even get into college. Theres nothing you should do but to get over yourself.