Why are some wealthier people so stingy?

I am organizing a Bachelor party for a good friend for April.  It'll be 6 people, including the Bachelor and myself.  We voted to go to Cabo San Lucas.  One member (Jake) has been raising a stink about it due to the cost, even though it would amount to less than $700.

Jake is a software developer and makes much more than the rest of us.  His wife is wife is a gynecologist (and not a resident either).  No kids, modest house, and no student loans either (parents paid for education).  I can understand not wanting to spend every dollar he earns - but to complain about a $700 trip seems WAY too stingy.

I don't question Jake about his finances - that's not in my place to do.  If he decides he can't make the trip, then that's fine too.  But he is insisting we change the Bachelor party to suit his financial needs.  He wants us to come to Portland (where he lives) so that he does not have to pay for a hotel.  I reminded Jake that we are doing this for Chris, and not for ourselves, and we voted that Cabo is the best location for Chris's big weekend.  I told Jake that I hope he does decide to come, and that nobody will be upset if he chooses not to - but what we will not do is change the location solely because of him.

So back to my question:  Why are some wealthier people so stingy?  The rest of us are nowhere near as well off as he is (and a couple of us have kids), and nobody else is complaining about the cost.


Blank - Great response, thank you!  I'm not the one who is friends with Jake.  Jake is friends with the groom from a different chapter of the groom's life than when I met the groom.  I've met Jake once before, but I do not know him well, and have no intention of changing his behavior.

Update 2:

To the 2 anonymous people - You must both be fun at parties!!  NOT!

Update 3:

Seedy history - it's a trip.  Not just a party.  $700 for a trip is not bad, and it doesn't require you to be rich to make a $700 trip.  And why are you referring to being married with children?  Jake does NOT have children, as I already explicitly stated.

Update 4:

TJ - It doesn't matter how I know about his finances.  Why are you bringing that up when it's not relevant?  And no, a bachelor party is not a BS reason to take a trip.  that's a stupid thing to say.

7 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago

    Foreign bachelor or bachelorette parties are what rich people do. Except when rich people don't. What happened to a good club 30 miles away? Ah well, I don't think the invitees need spend that sort of money on a party they can't leave and go home from at will. The planners are expecting too much. $700 turns into $1000 at the drop of a hat and that's a hefty price tag for a married man with children to decide to spend on a spree to follow the leader. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Yeah trumps a good example of that. And his inner swamp circle is pretty good at that too. Wanting to strip social programs that are the lifeline from people who are not nearly as fortunate and wealthy as they are

  • T J
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Thats how they keep their money, by watching every dime.  All this for a marriage the has  50% of failure.  If I was him, id not go. Its a BS reason to spend $700. Jake will not care if any of you are upset or not. You say you do not know him well, but you know way too much about his finances, why is that? You only met him once? This story stinks like week old fish.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I don't think $700 is a a too-high price to pay for a fun, memorable experience with friends in a place you don't get to go to often. Good for you for keeping the party in Cabo. This guy sounds like a real piece of work, and it goes beyond the price; he actually wants you guys to come to where he lives, and the ONLY reason is that he won't have to spend any money.  That in itself is insulting, and is just showing how cheap he is.  Really don't know why but that's just how some people are.

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  • blank
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    You did the right thing. Do not be bullied or guilted into changing plans that the GROOM really wants - this is about HIM and if he wants Cabo, then go there.

    Some buttnuggets are just cheap SOBs.  Your Portland friend possibly could be one.  From what you have written, it sounds like the case.  BUT just accept the fact that is just the way he is and will not change.   Don't judge:  you are smart to not question his finances.  Indeed it is not your place and none of your business.

    There may be more going on in their financial lives and they may be truly pinched.  They may be putting on a good show - who knows.   Just be an unconditional set of friends to him and accept him.  BUT by no means let him dictate what the group can or cannot do.

    Enjoy Cabo - Congrats to your soon to be married friend. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    We got wealthy by not wasting money on bachelor parties. We let the less-frugal complain about us instead.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Personally I am wealthy because I am what you call "stingy."  I also have little or no use for "bachelor weekends" also known as "big weekends."  

    Perhaps he has a better use for his $700.

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