Poetry Help?

Question

I wrote a poem for my Creative Writing class and I used the simile, "Like a deer in the headlights." My teacher said I shouldn't use that because it's too much of a cliche. Any ideas of a replacement that still conveys the shock and horror? It has to be a simile.

Answer 1

Like a fawn alerted by the howl of wolves...

Answer 2

Like life at death.

Answer 3

Like a speeder clocked by a radar.  Like a husband being caught with his mistress.  Like the crack of lightning on a still night.  Like an unexpected wedding proposal.  Like discovering your girlfriend is a first cousin.  Like suddenly discovering you are adopted.

Answer 4

LIke Herod when he found out the price of Salome's dance.

Source(s): Not in the fridge, Salome, dear.

Answer 5

"Like Trump when realising he actually lost to Biden."