My cat is an idiot?

Question

My cat has been dumb from the very minute she was birthed, I want her to be a valuable member of my family, instead of a stupid, mooch. How do I maybe teach her tricks, or maybe some basic maths.

Update:

Please real answers only 

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

Maybe get someone to train her.

Answer 2

Cats don't do tricks James. 

That's a dog thing.

Cats do play though. 

Cats are not here to serve us and our whims.

We are here on earth to serve cats. 

Answer 3

She wants to get rid of you too. Give her to someone who wants a furry mooch to love them.

Answer 4

cats cant do maths , you fool .seems you have the idiot mixed up ..

Answer 5

cats dont do tricks or maths, you should have got a dog and a Calculator

Answer 6

Why do you even have a cat? Give her away & don't get another.

Answer 7

Your cat doesn't like you

Answer 8

Far better to get a basic education yourself................ you clearly need it

Answer 9

maybe u should not have got a cat

Answer 10

No. Your cat is fine.