Lv 4
? asked in Social ScienceSociology · 2 months ago

could i be being prevented from having what i want?

let me explain;  - i am a man in my 40s who has coped with long term mental health problems through my adult life, as such,  i have failed at finding a female partner and never had female relationships apart from a few flings with girls in my adolescence....so i have missed out on relationships with girls so far, and that is what i always wanted.

in my life i have had problems with harassment from dangerous types, because i used to suffer rage outbursts in public which attracted shady types to me...i am not shady myself, its just i have a personality disorder and have had severe anger problems in my past.

and often i have had the reoccurring thoughts could shady types, or people in authority or powerful positions in society have prevented me from getting a girlfriend of my choice? maybe gangs or street gangs told women in society to stay away from me or have nothing to do with me....and women obeyed their orders, thats why i have never had any relationships with women?

also the amount of times ive heard people in my company in the past say things like ' i can't do that' ' or 'you can't do that'  and i interpreted that to mean that they are saying i can't have a girlfriend or mix with the people i want to?

i know it sounds far fetched, but i just want reassurance that nobody could prevent me from having the woman i want and mixing with the people i want to mix with?


cogito - thankyou for going to the trouble to answering my difficult question, i realized that im not being prevented, and i will continue to try and better myself.

1 Answer

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    The only thing that's preventing you from having 'what you want' is YOU.

    It sounds like you have the idea that you're somehow entitled to have a serious relationship with a women.  You aren't.  No-one is.  You have to work at being sociable, likeable, friendly, kind, intelligent, interesting and attractive.  It's not easy. 

    Maybe if you got some counselling and tried joining a few hobby groups, social clubs - that sort of thing?  You need to practice being likeable.  Do that before you even think of asking any women out on a date.  

    Honestly - no-one is preventing you.  There is no conspiracy.  Be sensible!

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