Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingTrying to Conceive · 2 months ago

What are your thoughts?

My long term boyfriend and I want to have a baby. He already has a son that lives with us and a daughter that he doesn’t see. Having a baby is something that I always wanted but I’m battling with infertility. My thoughts is, if it comes to worse that I don’t get pregnant, it won’t be as much as a big deal for him than it would be for me because he already has kids. We’ve been trying for almost 3 years and no luck with treatments. It’s depressing. I love spending time with him and his son but I find it hard for me sometimes because Its something that I want. I love his son just like my own but it would be nice to get to have a little one of our own too and share that experience together, all of us. I do tend to feel left out but been a good sport about it. What are your thoughts?

2 Answers

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I think, having been through both primary and secondary infertility myself, that eventually you're going to have to decide on a limit of how far you're willing to go with fertility treatments, and then what alternatives you'd be willing to consider, if any. I personally eventually did have luck with IVF, but it took multiple years and multiple rounds and was one of the most emotionally devastating things I've ever experienced. I have other friends who also went through IVF, but others who went the surrogate route, used donor eggs or adopted embryos, adopted a baby or adopted internationally, or decided parenthood wasn't in the cards and they would remain a family of two. What makes the most sense for you is intensely personal and only something you can decide, but don't walk the path of infertility indefinitely. It will utterly break you down if you don't set some kind of limit.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    If you want to "share that experience together", get married - he already has two other kids, one he doesn't even see. Do you not get any clues from that?

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