My 3 year old was molested, his dad won’t do anything. What are my options?
My 3-year old son told me while showering, “look mommy! Uncle did this to me!” And he started to rub his penis back and forward aggressively like he was masterbating. My mom & I said “Whose pee pee did uncle touch?” “my pee pee and bobs pee pee (another little boy). My son also stuck his fingers down his throat & started gagging & said “uncle did this too! He told me he could get in trouble & go to time out. So this man has been gagging my son & threatening time out. A 3 year old doesn’t know how to make up these actions. More happened too but if I write it all I’ll run out of characters. I never heard of this uncle or the kid he mentioned so I asked his dad. His dad told me the guy was his uncle & the kid was his cousin. (Me & dad are separated) I told dad everything. His dad never takes anything serious. He just said I’m sure it was nothing we’re still going to go to their house & hang out. I said just keep him away from that man. His dad said no. I got an emergency custody order & called CPS. CPS took this case to police. I am requesting supervised visits in court since his dad won’t keep him away from this man. Only problem is my son misses his dad. His dad had supervised visits in the past & it’s only once a week for an hour. It’s been two months since he’s seen his dad & he said, “I want to see my dad” what other options could I set up so he can see his dad more than once a week for an hour while still protecting him from this uncle. I can see that he needs his dad.
To all of you saying I’m a troll, I hope you rot in hell. This is a serious question and no one should just assume that ANYBODY would post this as a joke. Secondly, the investigation IS done. Like I said, they told me my son is too young to make a statement and all I can do is get a restraining order. The only thing the court visit is for is supervised visits. I don’t understand how I could have COACHED my son into telling me this. HE came to me and told me what happened. I was horrified.
Stick with the Supervised Visits!!!
Well, I've got a .45 pistol .................................
If CPS told you that your son is "too young to make a statement", that is incorrect. A trained therapist who specializes in play therapy can use anatomically correct dolls to allow a child to act out what has happened to him/her. The session can be filmed. The therapist will not "lead" the child, but will observe and ask questions. It seems that your son would be a good candidate for this, since he has already demonstrated to you by acting out what happened that he can tell his story. Are his friend Bob's parents aware of what happened to the little boys? Obviously this uncle is a pedophile and he needs to be stopped. It might cost some money to hire the therapist as an expert witness, but it would be worth the cost to get this guy stopped before he harms other children.Source(s): licensed specialist in school psychology
Have you called the cops? 1 thing is for sure, you shouldn't be leaving him alone with his uncle anymore.
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- Ron AkiaLv 72 months ago
You've followed the correct procedures thus far. I would restrict any further contact with his father to supervised visits only which, I believe is currently being done. His Father needs to grow up and accept responsibility for your sons well being.
Okay, if all of this did happen and its true...then this guy should be boiled in oil, but... I don't know where you got the idea that a 3 year old cant make this kind of stuff up, they can. My wife has operated a daycare for at least the past 10 years, and the stuff those kids come up with is unbelievable. Let me back up a little...to all you parents: You have no secrets. Your kids will spill their guts about everything, we know everything that you do...okay, moving on. Some of the things kids say are total fabrication. We've heard of divorces, adoptions, cases of Covid19, all sorts of things that weren't true. I was even involved in a tale the other day. My wife has an owl thingy hanging on the wall in the children's library. She noticed it was missing so she asked the kids where it went. Three or four of them told her that I came into the room one day, took it down, then left with it. She asked me why I took it down and what did I do with it. I told her that I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, and wasn't even aware that she had an owl thingy hanging on the wall? (I stay about as far away from the daycare as I can) I sure as heII didn't take it down and do anything with it? That evening I moved some book cases and found it behind there, and put it back up. Why on earth those kids would make that story up is beyond me, but they did, and do it all the time. Like I said, I'm not calling your kid a liar, but they DO get confused about what is real and what isn't. I don't know why, maybe they're trying to tell you what they think you want to hear? Good luck and I wish you and your son the best, but please keep in mind that what you're accusing this guy of is very, very, serious, and you need to be sure before you try to ruin his life.
- wldswedeLv 72 months ago
You are doing what you need to do to keep your son safe from further abuse. If his father cannot do what he needs to do as a parent to protect that child, then supervised visits are all he gets. Your son is three years old, yes, he misses his dad, however, he's not old enough to understand the full issues.
- FoofaLv 72 months ago
Of course your son misses his dad, he's three and he doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand that you're trying to protect him. This is why we don't let toddlers make important decisions about their own welfare. You're doing the right thing.
- papasteveLv 62 months ago
I was and am a certified rape and abuse crisis counselor. By the time I was 13, 2 of my 5 sisters were raped. I went through a transformation, from a scared little kid to an angry troubled kid, to a mature scared kid. Eventually, I had to become a mature man at 17, when I had to stand up against my parents, and my sister, when they found out our 11 year old brother, touched my 2 nieces, who were 4 years old. I had to report my brother to child welfare, which forced my parents and my sister deal with what happened, with medical Psychological professionals. They will know how to help you talk to your child. You will want to cry, scream, threaten you brother in front of your child, maybe even say you will kill him. You will need to choose your words wisely. All I can say right now before you really get some help and no matter what you might have said to your child, or in front of him, is he did nothing wrong, and you love him. Tell him, very simple, uncle is sick, and what he did was wrong. No Adult should touch you from your knees to your nose where you bathing suit goes. No one should touch you at all if it makes you feel icky or uncomfortable. Get this down, and call YWCA, they have programs for all ages of child abuse. As well as therapists to help you with your feelings of what you are going through and about to go through. You will also need to call the police. Not just because he hurt your child, not because he hurt another child, but because he most likely have hurt many children, and he will not stop hurting other children unless he is stopped. As angry as you are, it sounds like you are thinking of your child first, before anything else by asking what you should do. My first thought was to beat up any person who was mean to a girl, even if they were adults. in 6 months after my 2nd sister was raped, I was in 2 dozen fights, and arrested a dozen times. If it was not for my therapist, and my sister's boyfriend, who was a Chicago police officer, I would have gone to jail. And if you act out, and get in trouble, you will only be hurting your son. He does not fully understand what happened to him, and if you go to jail, or just get in trouble with police having it connected to what happened to him, he will think it is his fault. So like my therapist told me, do you hate your brother, or what he did, more then you love your son. So before you find out for sure what you need to do, just say to yourself doing this, will it show my child how much I love him or will this only hurt the one who hurt my child. Remember first and foremost he did nothing wrong. His uncle is sick. And needs help. And he, the uncle should not be allowed alone with any child of any age under 18. My prayers are with you and your family.
- sunshine_melLv 72 months ago
There's nothing stopping you speaking to the police.