Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

Is it better to be tactful, or plain spoken?

I'm not saying that those two things are mutually exclusive. And personally as a individual I believe that you should always strive to be gracious and civil with everyone, but there also is a time when you have to deliver hard truths, that could potentially upset others, be it about a particular issue, or even your stance on such.

But as a rule, which would you say is it better to be?

9 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    To me, the difference between tactful and soft communication is whether or not you insult the other party. I prefer to be upfront and address the issue as it is. If an issue must be discussed, I will talk about it with the other person. I will not be rude or insulting to the other person... But if the other person will have his/her feelings hurt, then too bad because discussing this specific topic is a must. Even in my professional life, I had conversations with patients about DNR. I told them as it is without dancing around the topic or "babying it down": "Did you ever think about the treatment you would want for yourself if you lost your ability to make your own decisions? Would you like doctors to do everything to save you including hooking you up on machines, or would you like to die naturally?"--- It was mix of tactful and soft, but the main thing is that it addressed the issue

  • 2 months ago

    I hate having someone get mad at me so I err on the tactful side - but my mom speaks her mind right off the cuff - and it hasn't seemed to bite her in the rear in fact - she has more friends than she can keep track of - but people consider me boring and so I have none.

    Something to think about.

    I can only be me, though. 

  • 2 months ago

    You keep posting these pointless questions as if there was going to be one answer, for every situation, for all time.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    I always tell the truth and if someone does not like it - that's too bad for them.  I refuse to 'bow' down to anyone.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This is situational and it takes some emotional IQ to figure out when to be diplomatic and when to be blunt. Clearly in most professional situations it's best to just bite your tongue...unless you're the boss and then yo can be more honest. The biggest thing to keep in the back of your mind is that your opinions are just that and that everyone has an opinion. In most cases yours is no more valid than anyone else's. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    As you said, they are not mutually exclusive.    Why are you asking people to pick just one?

    As usual, you've given zero details about context/details.

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Whatever it is you're going to say, there are better and worse ways to say it. If better means not hurting any feelings, not being disruptive, something like that, then tact is best. If better is based on results, like what will most quickly solve the urgent problem then sometimes it's best to be astonishingly frank, to shake and wake a few people. 

  • 2 months ago

    Often can depend on the circumstance/setting and the issue or topic being discussed, as well as the relationship/connection between the person making the comment and the recipient of the comment.  Also, important to remember, no matter the intention of the person making the comment, this may not be automatically interpreted in the same way by the recipient.

  • 2 months ago

    My wise dad used to say that it's better to have a  yellow dog as a friend than as an enemy. I never understood the yellow part, but the gist is to not upset folks unnecessarily. So I always play the tact card. Diplomatic language with a clear message or intent is a great way to deliver bad news.

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