lola asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

Thanksgiving etiquette with new boyfriend?

Hi everyone - I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now. It's too early for us to meet one another's family. He moved to this job 6 months ago so doesn't have a ton of friends and his family is several states away. Luckily, he was able to work this Thanksgiving so it isn't like he'll be home alone. 

My wonder is if I should do anything "extra". For example, I am cooking some side dishes today and wonder if i should have dinner with him tonight so I can drop off the sides for him to have tomorrow on Thanksgiving day when he's home from work. 

It's his first day back to work after a 3 day vacation and if it were me, I'd rather not visit after my first day back at work. I was thinking maybe just for an hour so I can 1) get some food to-go and we can eat together for an hour and i'll be on my way 2) so then he'll have food for tomorrow.

Or am I just overthinking this? Is it bad if I don't drop off some side dishes? I am not really sure what's required or is good etiquette. Can I just text/call to wish a happy thanksgiving and share some side dishes after the holiday?

4 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would just ask him what he wants to do

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Before bringing him gifts of food, find out whether he wants such gifts. You'd hate to arrive with all those packages only to have him regard the stuff as a pain in the neck rather than a welcomed treat.

    Unless he is very urgent about wanting you to stay and visit, just drop the stuff off. The idea is for him to be anxious to spend more time with you, not for him to avoid you because you're always there wanting to be spend time with him. (This is about DATING, not about serious long term relationships.) 

  • 2 months ago

    You are overthinking it.  Someone who works on thanksgiving has a name for that day.  It is called Thursday, no different than any other week.

  • 2 months ago

    Etiquette (defined as 'a customary code of polite behavior') doesn't have anything to do with this. I'd say if you want to make sure he's got something sort of like a Thanksgiving dinner, or at least something to eat when he gets home from work, then go ahead and take some food to him. It isn't bad if you don't, but it's nice if you do. If I were doing this, I'd take along a piece of roasted turkey or chicken and some cranberry sauce. Seems kind of silly to bring someone only the sides unless you know they've got the rest of the meal too. Of course, you can always ask him if he's got anything planned to eat for tomorrow and if he doesn't then offer to bring him some food.

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