How come people blame me for my brother in law's decision to not see his parents cause I'm autistic?

So my brother in law doesn't get along with his parents. His mother kicked him out when he was only 17 and he had no where to go. He ended up getting a job though and now works as a security consultant and he ended up marrying my sister. They're here for the holidays and his parents wanted to come see him but he wasn't sure if he wanted to see him cause he has bitter feelings towards them. I told him if he doesn't want to see them then tell them no. Everyone outside of my family now blames me for that and says that I'm a jerk. My uncle called me a retard and said that I'm unqualified to give advice cause I'm a retard. My brother in law's parents don't even treat me right either. His parents bashed my sister and says that she has a criminal brother who is a homicide waiting to happen psycho. They looked up my background check and found out about my two felonies and 2 misdemeanors. His mom posted publicly on facebook and bashed me. She said "Well this skank's gay brother who is a career criminal who smokes marijuana told my son to not come and see me, tell me what you think about this". My sister showed me the post and every one of his relatives jumped in and bashed me. His uncle replied to the post and asked "What is his name ? I'll call the sheriff's department and report this criminal fool". I don't get why she would attack me when it was his choice not mine. ALL I DID WAS GIVE ADVICE, I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG". Why do people blame me for his choices and decisions ???

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Jacob, your posts run the gamut from sad to tragic to foolish to pathetic.  I'm sure their decisions have a base in your other activities, most of which involve sending the Police to fictitious locations for fictitious suicide threats, something you find most amusing.  Most people who have been found guilty of multiple misdemeanors and felonies DON'T think they "never did anything wrong."

    .

    You are a skank?  Odd choice of words.  The jerk part?  I agree with your family.  In fact, does Mommy know you are on the Internet again?

  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Well, Jacob, for once you did the right thing, in telling your brother-in-law if he didn't want to see his parents, he didn't have to.  You were only giving advice, which, from the sound of what his mother said in response to it, was pretty sound advice.  His family sounds like they're nothing but troublemakers.  Don't concern yourself with them.  The mother actually committed libel when she went on a public forum and called you the names she did.  Obviously she got mad because your brother-in-law took your advice and his family missed out on another chance to bash him.  They're the kind of people who don't want to take responsibility for what they say or do, but always blame others.  That's why they were trying to blame you for his not wanting to visit with them.  You actually are to be commended for doing something logical.  Oh, and you are not a "retard".  Tell your uncle that autism and developmental delay aren't the same thing.

  • 2 months ago

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day! You actually are not in the wrong this time :) way to go!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You sir, are a complete prick. Thanksgiving is a time for family gathering. It doesn't matter if they treat him wrong. You are infringing their happiness. I really hope you cut that ankle monitor off and flee. At least they won't have to deal with you and your selfishness for a while.

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  • 2 months ago

    This whole situation is honestly messed up. Just because you gave your brother in law advice, doesn't make you the problem. You didn't cause the problem,  you are correct....all you did was offer your advice to the information presented to you as best you understood the circumstances. Your brother-in-law made up his own mind and this was his action to choose to not see his parents. 

    However,  I am curious if your brother-in-law threw you under the bus and said he did it because of what you said. If your brother-in-law did that....then you should ask him if he did throw you under the bus and blame you for his actions.  Thats not ok, thats not cool at all. If thats the case, then your brother-in-law needs to apologize to you and make it clear that he did this in his own accord ( which most people should know since your brother-in-law is an adult not a child). 

    Regardless, NO ONE SHOULD BE BLAMING YOU OR CALLING YOU A RETARD. This type of family behavior is toxic to you and I would advise you to stay away from these people ( your uncle and anyone else) calling you names and throwing you under the bus. 

    You are correct,  you have done nothing wrong in this situation and your past criminal issues have nothing to do with this situation either. Them bringing up your past is also immature on their part and just another way to abuse you. 

    The best thing you can do is stay away from these abusive family members and go on with your life. 

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