Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Am I overreacting to what my wife’s brother said?

Yesterday, my wife started to tell me about a recent conversation she had with her younger brother. She started telling me something that her younger brother  told her about our kids, who are under seven years old.  Apparently he said that our kids were like little Amish children because they are so well behaved. I don’t know any Amish people nor do I have anything against them or their way of life. But I think my wife’s brother was being snarky and I don’t appreciate him directing snark at my children.  Their friends can do that. My wife’s brother is all about himself and expects the world to revolve around him. He is married and his wife is the same way. They have two children who aren’t the best behaved but not the worst behaved kids. He has no tact, no filter, and just says anything that comes to mind, damn the consequences. As my wife was telling the story, I sensed his snark.  I was got annoyed and heading towards ticked off.  My wife could see this and said “ Ok I am not going to say anymore” and left the room.  She came back in a few minutes later and we went on to another topic. We have not come back to the subject. Should I bring it up to her, and her brother next time I see him. I am bothered by it, but did I overreact? 

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are putting more time and energy into even thinking about this, much less,  planning what you can do about it. Yes, I do think you over reacted. let it go. Life is short. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It was a compliment, not an insult. So yes, you're overreacting because you clearly don't like him and want to find fault in what he said. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I was born into an Amish family.  I left when I was 18.  What about being Amish insults and upsets you?  Put in any other racial or religious group in place of "Amish," and this is no less offensive.

    You and your wife are, presumably, adults.  Your wife can't handle a problem or potential problem with HER children?

    Here's how this shapes up to me - your brother in law makes a comment about being Amish.  Apparently you don't like Amish people; he makes the comment to your wife.  She has no voice of her own, so she runs to you; your wife tells you about a remark which you decide is "snarky" and offensive, and you "head toward getting ticked off;" your wife, sensing your overreaction, leaves the room.  

    Sure, ask her why she can't talk directly to her own brother.

    Know what I would have done?  I would have said, "What does that mean?" OR "why would you say that?"  And I don't expect my husband to settle problems within my family.

  • 2 months ago

    You have feelings. And, apparently, anything her brother says is likely to T you off! However, don't be the word Police! You sound like you are teetering on the edge of turning into a family terrorist. Put a lid on it. He didn't insult you your wife or your children. 

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    You can only change yourself. You already know what your brother in law is like. He is basically saying that your kids listen to you, which, in my books, is how you expect a well brought up child to behave.

    Bringing it up will likely turn into a fight you could have easily avoided. You feel attacked; chock it up to your pride and then drop it. Drama leads to unhappiness. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You are looking way way too hard for things to be pissed off about. What ails you?

  • Audrey
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    He gave you and you're kids a great compliment. Appreciate it!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Completely overreacting. Goodness.

    I also think it very telling that your wife decides to stop relaying the conversation to you and leaves the room to give you time to cool down. That speaks volumes to me that she's learned to read your mood and adjusted her behaviour accordingly. I would personally hate to have to be this alert around my husband all the time, where the retelling of what appears to be a compliment served in a joking manner can potentially cause this much upset.

    I sometimes call my best friend, whom I love and respect, a mormon housewife. She's not, but she's a great stay at home mother to her kids, she sews, she crochets, she cooks, she bakes, she makes everything from scratch. When i call her a mormon housewife, I'm giving her a compliment, albeit jokingly, and she knows it.

  • Petter
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I don't get it... In my humble opion this is overreacting, yes. If this was the only thing he said. Just one small comment. How can you read in a ton of things into that?

    Isn't this exactly how bad blood start? Maybe he was just making a joke about it.

    Why don't you take it as a compliment instead, that you have very well behaved kids? If he just made this one comment, can you really know what he ment with it?

    "He has no tact, no filter, and just says anything that comes to mind" so isn't this kind of comment exactly what a person like that could say, maybe whitout meaning no harm with it?

  • 2 months ago

    you are overreacting.

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