I still think about this?
I still think about this memory I have of when I was between 3-5 years old. I felt alive and I felt love and I never felt anything like that ever since. It was a summer night, maybe in mid July, and I was rolling down the hill with this beautiful girl of course we were so young back then. We were chasing fireflies and I felt so loved and so free. I felt the deepest connection in my life and I'd been searching for something like that my whole life, but have never been able to find that playfulness and loving energy. I doubt the other person ever searched for something like that. I've given up hope of ever coming across something like that ever again. I'm almost positive the other person probably lived the rest of their life like a normal person, so I don't know why I've waited this whole time. I feel so ashamed of myself for missing out so much in life hoping to rekindle something similar to this. I know now how silly it is to linger in the past. I wanted to make more memories like that, that are actually enjoyable to recollect. I have so much regret, sometimes I wish I could just roll over dead or die in my sleep even though people tell me to be careful what I wish for. I don't know how to forget this memory and carry on with my life it feels useless. What do I do?
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