If parents give one child 50,000, should they give the other child 50,000 as well to be fair, if thier children are adults?

Answer 1

Fair isn't the issue but what does the parent want to do with "their" funds.

Answer 2

My parents do.  My parents got my sister a car, they had to get me one too

Answer 3

 Terrible idea in giving large financial sum's to anyone z

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Answer 4

People have very different ideas of what “fair” is. My parents have always tried to be as equitable as possible with my siblings and myself (we are all adults), to the point where a few years ago when my brother was moving they gave him some financial help and then called me up to inform me that they were gifting me the same amount of money to be equal. My sister had a debt with them, so they gave her an equivalent credit against the money she owed them. 

Now, my in laws have very different ideas of fair. They perceive it to be more need based, so my husbands sister who made poor life choices was given way more financial support, assistance, and gifts than my husband ever was. He was viewed as not “needing” the help, so wasn’t given it. For example, my sister in law made the decision to get pregnant at a young age, get married due to the pregnancy, then was divorced less than a year later. So she had family members who paid bills for her, including child care, credit cards, utilities, even gave her a house to live in rent free. When we had our first child we got nothing, because we were married and providing for ourselves. I expressed to my husband that it sure would be nice to have that same money to put in her college fund, but that wasn’t an option we were given. 

Im not sure if fair is the right word to use, but treating children grossly differently in terms of financial help can certainly cause long term resentment.

Answer 5

Depends on what the $50,000 is for. If it's for something like college, a wedding, or a house downpayment, then it's a situational gift and doesn't need to be made "fair" to the other child. At least, not until the other child reaches a comparable milestone, *and* the parents feel the other child is as trustworthy with money as the child they gave money to.

Answer 6

Why did they give the one child $50,000? My parents paid for my college, but now my younger brother is skipping college and feels entitled to the same amount of money.