Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 2 months ago

Does it need to be causing me pain?

I found my boyfriend dead back in August. We were together 10 years however we didn’t get married or have any children. My boyfriends sister has his ashes and is refusing to share them. Should I feel an emotional pain because of this? or am I right in thinking it isn’t him it’s ashes. I had most of his time as his partner when he was alive which would mean a lot more than ashes. But then again the ashes are part of who he was. It was his body. I don’t know what to think.

3 Answers

  • Archer
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    He was your boyfriend, she nor him owes you anything. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Maybe fretting over this is easier than grieving his loss.  I don't know.  It would not cause me extreme pain.  My husband is dead whether I do or don't have his ashes.  I was widowed after 8 years of marriage.  I'm sorry for your loss.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Try not to think of a few ashes mixed with wood ash as him. Of course you loved each other, and Love does not die! He really wouldn't want you to get upset about some ashes, would he? Try to remember him with love: Love does not die, but the pain will recede once you can let the trivial stuff such as ashes go. This is not to minimalize your very understandable feelings, but do try to let it go and work, as he would want you to, on your future. Not necessarily another relationship yet - although having had one successful relationship you can have another one day. His sister is also in pain - perhaps for their parents, too, so allow her her grief as well: it isn't a competition. 

    God Bless you!  

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