Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 2 months ago

Mother in law demands babysitting ?

My mother in law demands 1 day a week to see our 10 week baby. I have no problem with this!

Each time they ask for “alone time” and they keep extending longer and longer. I finally said to my husband I’m fine with visits every week maximum 4 hours though because she’s breastfed! We always take her to them, and if they want to see her more he can take her over ANY time of the week as long as it’s just under 1-3 hours so I can breastfeed her.

I give them 4 hours alone time every week, even though I don’t want to, I take her there leave her with them, give them all of her things, pump milk bottles for them. Now they are still complaining.

I ask my husband what is the problem? What more do they want? And now he is angry at me for putting the 4 hour limit, but otherwise I have to pump multiple bottles for no reason, if I pump 5 bottles for them today, she will have no food today because my breasts will be empty? 

And I don’t want to leave a newborn baby for 8 hours for no reason, that’s not “limiting them” that’s because it’s my newborn baby! Are they trying to force me by manipulation. This is ridiculous am I right? Is he married to his mother

Someone help me, I need advice!

3 Answers

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You are not being unreasonable. And that your husband doesn’t see that or supports you is extremely concerning.   

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No, you're not being ridiculous, your in-laws are not entitled to your baby so that they can play house with her. They raised their children, and she's not a dolly to play with. It's great that they're wanting to have an active role in her life, but not wanting to be away from your breastfed child for more than a few hours at a time is completely reasonable. 

    Besides, if they want to see her, why can't they come visit you where you can take her to nurse her any time she's hungry? Why do they insist on being alone with her? Seems weird to me. I think you need to start being more assertive and unapologetic about decisions regarding your child. You're her mother, you have that authority. Stop being afraid to claim it.

  • 2 months ago

    Pretty sure I answered this question last week. The fact that you keep asking is not a good sign. Your problem is that your husband is your partner and needs to be aligned with you, not his parents. You and he need to work this out. My daughter wouldn't leave her baby with me any longer than between feedings because she didn't want the baby to get used to a bottle. Once they do, they don't want to work at breast feeding anymore, and as you know, breast feeding is the best thing for them. So your husband needs to advocate for the benefit of the baby as well as for you. Get a backbone!

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