What is my sexuality? ?

I’m a guy. I find people attractive (mainly just men) in both a sexual and appearance way, but I don’t fantasize about sleeping with them or being intimate with them. Rather, I fantasize about them being with others. For example—

There’s a man I find hot/attractive. The typical person would fantasize about that man being intimate with them, but when it comes to me, I imagine that man topping or bottoming someone else (sexually) instead of me. 

Basically, I don’t desire having s*x with anyone or touching anyone, I prefer imagining others doing that. Maybe even seeing them doing that. But that’s only when it comes to sexual things, I’m not a pervert who constantly thinks about this stuff, or voyuor (or however you spell it), this is only solely when it comes to sexuality. It’s not some kink, that’s just how I feel about my preferences. 

I’m so sorry this is jumbled and confusing, I just really want to know if there is a sexuality for that— no desire to be intimate with others, but instead, imagining others being intimate without myself included. 

Thanks so much for all your help! :) sorry again for the confusing stuff. No hate please!

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Somewhere on the asexual spectrum for sure. Let me see if I can find a specific word 


    Gray asexual fits but I think there is another word too

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This doesn't mean anything about your sexuailty. You're gay with a self-esteem problem.

  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Time to talk to a therapist.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Trying to identify which "sexuality" is yours is a silly, adolescent preoccupation - it actually means nothing IRL.  Only children and addle-pated young adults worry about such things.  IRL, actual grownups just date the people they're attracted to, and they leave it at that.  They don't feel any need to make up teams to be part of (as in "I'm a straight guy!" or "I'm a lesbian"). 

    If you're happy not having sex, but enjoy watching porn or imagining others having sex, then that's just what you're happy with and that's all you need to know.  You don't need a name for that. And if you later decide you want to actually touch somebody, you don't have to then turn in some membership card, or publicly foreswear a bunch of oaths.  No adult is worried about what to "call" themselves. We just date who we're attracted to (or don't, if we're like you...and btw many people are).

    (The truth is, kids who write things like "I used to bat for this team but now I realize I swing the other way, and I feel I must tell everyone" are more hungry for attention than they are actually interested in how their life works.)

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I can't answer this question and I doubt that anyone here can since we don't know you or your history.  Only YOU can answer truthfully.  I'm going to make a supposition based on virtually nothing, but if it does apply to you, then you work on it, if not, just ignore me.  I'm wondering if there is some internalized homophobia going on.  You recognize your attraction but you can't take it to the level of actual experience even in your fantasies.  I wonder if there is an aversion to sexual acts with men because of some very deep seeded negative feelings about such activities. This is an avenue you might want to explore - what are the origins of these feelings.  Depending on how much they affect your daily life, will determine how far you want to explore in this direction.  Of course another possibility is that you simply have not yet met the person with whom you really want to be.  Again, really only you can answer this question.  The other thing I would say is that labels are for clothing not for human beings.  Good luck with this issue.

  • 2 months ago

    To me, it seems your simply asexual.  You don't mind watching others, bu t have little or no desire to participate.

    What you are NOT is the rubbish spewed by "Gloria."  She seems to be like far too many of late who throw around words (labels) without having a clue what those words or labels mean.  

    "Cuck" is lazy-bastard slang for "cuckold."  That's a MAN (only) who's married & his wife commits adultery with another MAN (only) without him knowing about it.

    If this happens & he does know about it (which happens), he's a "wittol".  Those words don't mean anything else.  So, she doesn't know her backside from a barn door about this matter.  

  • 2 months ago

    "if there is a sexuality for that— no desire to be intimate with others, but instead, imagining others being intimate without myself included." 

    Yeah, its called being a TOTAL CUCK.

    Pick a gender to F and F that, probably men, and quit this masochistic cuck $#!+

  • 2 months ago

    You seem to be focused on sexuality labels and designations for no reason. Your sexuality is what you feel it is, WHATEVER that is. That's the definition of sexuality; how you feel, sexually. Sexuality is a continuum, a spectrum of feelings. No one is absolutely 100% ANYTHING, it's all a range of feelings and preferences. Labeling yourself as one thing and one thing ONLY is a limiting thing, not a liberating one. Don't worry about labeling whatever your sexuality is, just accept it as yours.

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